My Spirit

[crystalgaze]

Heya.... Something is a bit strange with your crystalgaze.... particularly today....

I don't know if it's my hormones or if it's my spirit. Well, it's time to just say what it is....

|_| I have been in a very evil place/space/mindset within myself and it's frightening.

Examples:

1. Today, I fought with a 'friend'. Perhaps, he really is not my friend. I don't know. Maybe that's what's bothering me and where the evil in me came out today.

The 1st thing that happened was that he needed to spit and he opened the passenger's side door while I was driving. Well, it spooked me, him opening the car door to spit mainly because the car was still moving....

Also, he had like half his body outside of the car so quickly that I panicked a bit. I think in my head I said, "Oh Lordy... Now all he needs to do is fall out and I'm screwed." Alarmed, the first thing my mind told me to do was stop the car. I am either stopping the car or have already stopped the car when he says to me, "Drive!!" with a sort of an annoyed tone, to which I gave him the finger. (Please don't ask me which one.)

(Background: I am from the Caribbean.... It is not good to talk to someone any old way.)

(A) Next, I lost my temper because the above mentioned 'friend' went to run some errand and I was waiting in the car longer than I would have liked. I drove away and left him there for maybe 10 minutes or so to recover so that I would not be all-over-the-place, screaming shouting angry.

2. My dad was going to go attack the carrot cake my mom bought, and I said, "Noooo" and "You're supposed to be helping me wash the truck...." ~lol~ And he put it back in the fridge, like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.... Then, I said, "How about having a piece after you finish helping me then?"

(You see, the previous day, he ate quite a bit of cake and he says he's on a diet... Also, he has to watch it with the sweets and his diabetes that seems to be coming....)

3. I saw this guy really skinny guy walking around in the mall, and I said to my dad, "Loooook! Sunshades has lost weight!!" And my dad looked at the guy in amazement and said, "Why, yes... He did!! Is that really Sunshades?!" He so totally believed it that I had to tell him I was kidding, and he said to me, "You're bad...."


Bottom line: I feel something is not right with my spirit. Does anyone have any suggestions before I bite off more than I can chew or end up doing something I will truly regret?

I think, though, that I am tired of people messing over me.....


Edit: Did I also mention that I'm an Aries?

My best description of this feeling is: "Raarrrrr....! Here I come!"

[Obayan]

first off, what the "friend" did was so way wrong! I would have panicked too! Opening a door while driving. sheesh. And as for your dad with the cake, you only did what you felt was necessary to help him take care of himself. Reallly sweetie, i think you are being hard on yourself. I don't see where you did anything wrong at all.

[crystalgaze]

~lol~ Thanks Obayan! Okay... .That's good to know....

I do have something really strange to report..... First, I don't particularly believe in "spirits", but I feel as though something attacked me recently--something not of the human world and the same day I fought with my 'friend' and drove away temporarily. I drove away partly because I was "vexed" but also because I couldn't stand being in that place any longer (not a second longer). The place looked as though it was an okay place....

Right now, I am so freaked out about it.

Thursday night, my dad had this strange dream, which he described as a "spirit" coming near him, where he ended up screaming and shouting in his sleep. "MOVE AWAY FROM ME!!"

Unknown to me, that morning I went near the bookshelf and picked up the Bible I bought many years ago but had really not used much. I placed it on the bed but still had not flipped through it or read anything out of it. (I live upstairs and my parents are downstairs.)

I started my day, went out to check something and after I was done, my mind told me to go see my godparents, who happened to be very religious and genuine people about their faith and treating people well. They were going out but made time for me, even though I came unannounced. They were pretty happy to see me. (They're like my guardian angels anyway.)

Now, where it got really strange was later on in the day. I decided to go for a drive and my Dad tagged along with me. Shortly down the road from where I live, I nearly had this bad accident. I either would have died or would have been seriously injured, and I can say that with certainty because the other car, which was speeding, would have hit into the door on the driver's side. (I was driving.)

I was turning on a corner, where there's is a spot of enclosed grass that was beautified. There was a hedge, and it was not cut low enough for me to see over them, and if I came up any further, making the turn would be extremely difficult. There was also a big tree in the spot as well (maybe a mahogany tree).

Afterwards, I'm driving.... All seems well, so we make a stop to Wendy's. It was a pretty long drive and so, I ask my Dad to drive 'cause my leg was catching a cramp. All right, now we're going out from Wendy's and my Dad nearly has an accident....

We drive carefully!!!! I've never been in an accident and haven't ever gotten a ticket for anything.... I was concentrating on driving, like I usually do.

Something was really strange.... I think I saw something.... but I truly don't know what it is I saw....

[Obayan]

I don't know what to say to that sweetie. Most find my beliefs to be a little off because i don't follow organised religion. I believe good and bad does exist. I believe spirits are all around us. Everything has a soul. The rocks, trees even the grass. We have to honor those souls by being the best person we can be. And you are an amazingly wonderful and caring person sweetie.

[darklight32]

Your being made fun of, do not fear, be strong, be in your own pace, had the same experience like a mind trick or illusion, I expect the unexpected because of that, you see, i'm a fighter and i let in the fire and blaze it out with my spirit.

Edited: Warmsoul Moderator

[Obayan]

I wouldn't call anyone simple minded because they held a different belief or lack thereof..... But crystal, i know you hon. You are a great person. Never doubt that.

[crystalgaze]

Thanks Obayan and darklight.... ^_^ It has calmed down recently... I have stayed home for the most part, since I've been cleaning.... I drove yesterday and thought I saw something on the road as well, but the good news is that I didn't nearly die or get injured while driving yesterday.... Things have been a little bit better....

(Man, am I glad for that!)

The other day I went to the doctor and as the heavens would have it.... A black truck tried to come over on me on the highway.... It kept coming.... I tooted my horn and kept tooting.... It kept coming... There was no place else for me to go because I'm in the fast lane and the only thing next to that is the wall on one side and the slow lane on the other where the truck was....

Then, it pulled back into its lane at the last moment. (Phew!!)




My Little Theory.... (Probably nothing new)

You know... I think that "spirits" can exist because they strike me as energy. I also think prayer--not necessarily connected with a particular religion--is a form of energy as well and can work either way....

[Obayan]

((( crystal ))) sending a warm hug and warm thoughts your way sweetie.

[crystalgaze]

My energy is a little off today.... It was hyper this morning & now hypo this afternoon. It's like a crash..... but I'm okay. I will probably take a nap.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((( Crystal )))))))))))))))

Rest well hon.

Warmie

[Jaymn]

Sounds like you just had a bad day(s). Tomorrow, hopefully, will be better.

[crystalgaze]

Thanks Warmie & Jay! I really did have a good rest! & Jay, you've been quiet. You okay? (in my best Wakka impression....)