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Postby DemonPawz » Sat Aug 24, 2019 12:28 pm

Everything has gone down hill.
My so called grandma has been visiting for a while.
She’s a bitch.
I wouldn’t cry if she died, in fact I wish she died. She’s abusive, if you didn’t know. She’s acting like she pays for this house. She acts like I am a baby who doesn’t know anything. She treats her f****** dog better than she treats herself. She’s trying to split my family apart, and I haven’t even started college yet. I’m helping my mom pay for this house, and she’s trying to drive me out! I feel lost more than ever. I’m having worse thoughts more than ever. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if anyone out there can help me. I don’t know if anyone out there is trustworthy.

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Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Bad

Postby Spleefy » Sat Aug 24, 2019 9:27 pm

Everything will go up again, as they do. You will get your ups and your downs, including with family.

Family can be very stressful, especially when they treat you unfairly.

I have similar issues with my family. I give as much as I can to my family because I want to be a contributing member. That is what family (should) do! Sadly, some people will take advantage of this. Some members think the worst of me and call me all kinds of stuff behind my back.

But it is just water off a duck’s back!

There could be any number of reasons for their behaviour. Perhaps they are just upset because they wish they could contribute just as much and so feel guilty. They, therefore, will say harsh and unfounded things about other people because it is just a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Of course, this doesn’t mean it won’t hurt when family treat you poorly, especially for no good reason. Family should stick together and support one another. But they are human beings, just like everybody else, with the same flaws, greed, and fleshly desires. And I know I am not perfect and have done the same thing in the past. We are all guilty.

It is somewhat funny, actually.

Another illustration is my father. When I had depression, he would say things like, “everybody gets depressed at least once in their life.” This is incorrect. Everybody feels sad from time to time, not clinically depressed. This was ignorance.

Second, he would tell me, “I’ve had a much worse life than you ever had, so if anyone should be depressed I should be.” Again, ignorance and just a different generation where depression and anxiety apparently never existed. :roll: :P

Then, to top it off, he once accused me of doing drugs. My guess is because depression made me withdraw and act out of character. And, because to him, I shouldn’t be depressed because “my life wasn’t as bad as his”, I must be doing drugs. Again… ignorance!

When he accused me of drugs it annoyed me because I don’t drink or smoke and I would never touch drugs. I cant even stand prescription medication and will always explore other alternatives first. I’ve always been a health fanatic. So to accuse me of touching drugs was exceedingly insulting.

So this did hurt (which evolved into anger) me for a while because my own father accused me of such a thing. Second, when I told him I wasn’t doing drugs, he told me he didn’t believe me and that I “must be on something.”

:lol: The point is, you will get people—including family members—that will give you grief, be unsupportive, ignorant, and think the worst of you, even if you give as much as you can emotionally, physically, and financially to them.

I suggest you train yourself to see things from different angles and perspectives, as well as develop a thick skin.

Another thing I do is to just keep pumping them full of love and understanding. This can be challenging in certain situations, such as yours, but it completely flips the script. You maintain your own standards, and you disarm them. Being loving and understanding, no matter how unreasonable they may be, also helps you to see things from different perspectives, including from other people’s viewpoint.

There could be any number of reasons why your grandma is behaving this way. Sometimes people who are miserable with their lives will either deliberately or inadvertently be nasty to other people to make themselves feel better. Perhaps she was brought up in a similar way she is treating you. Who knows!

Just try not to take it on board. Let her do her. If you know you are doing the right thing, then just keep focused. Keep focused on helping your mom and family. Nobody can split anyone up unless they allow it to happen. By the way, did you mean your grandma is trying to drive you out or your mom? I am not sure if you meant you are helping your mom pay for the house, and your grandma is driving you out. Or if your grandma has turned your mom against you.

At the end of the day, we can’t change other people or their perspective, but we can change our own. Another suggestion is try not to be reactive to a situation but instead be proactive. Do this by maintaining your own standards, keeping your own emotions in check (such as anger) and being loving and understanding.

Things will look up. So long as you have a clean conscious then you can’t be touched.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Bad

Postby athena.vhd » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:26 pm

i know what u mean.
some ppl grow up Physically but not mentally!
and...spleefy u know when a person especially a teenager is involved with depression she/he wants to be undrestood by ppl around and practically older ppl have to observe and take care of teenagers and when u see that u have to do this :!: its so understandable story as i experienced something like this but i somehow fighted with all members of family and this made everything worse.
the best way is to get along with them i dont know how ur exact situation is . but i can imagine how hard it could be.
goog luck with it.

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