15 year relationship over.

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Chimpulous2
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 11:50 am

15 year relationship over.

Postby Chimpulous2 » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:03 pm

So yeah, I just wanted to write about my girlfriend, who reluctantly left me in pursuit of marriage and kids (which i felt was not right for me). Iv'e been with her for 15 years, since i was 17, she was a big part of my life. I was going through depression anyway before but she decided to have a talk. At first I was so angry with her. I believed her decision was arbitrary and that she only wanted what everyone else had. I believe that is still somewhat true. It was only after she'd been to a wedding and I started to refuse going to weddings because of the social peer pressure i felt during them. She was surrounded by couples who were together at these places. She was alone. Although I thought what we had was good, we would watch movies together, go to the cinemas, go to meals, art galleries museums or just around towns and cities together. We would just enjoy each others company. For me it was enough. I wanted that to last, but I guess nothing ever does...I was so angry but i think she hasn't as much got a good reason to leave me, but a strong urge to have kids. I think its just instinct, i can only put it to that. Still its very sad... I don't really see much of a future anymore. I just hope I can move on and find a new purpose in life. Something that gets me out of bed happy and excited in the morning. A strong feeling just as she had. I think that is the best way to feel. I want a strong feeling to get me out of bed and do exciting things. Thanks for listening. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Spleefy
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: 15 year relationship over.

Postby Spleefy » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:49 am

Hi Chimpulous2,

I’m sorry to hear that such a long relationship has ended. Parenthood goals is a important part of a committed relationship for many people, and it can be a deal breaker when partners have different goals and cannot compromise.

It will hurt for a while, but you’ll find a new purpose in life—just give it some time.

What things do you enjoy doing? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Although you was in a relationship, what about your individual goals? Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to focus on those. This could be an excellent opportunity for you to start anew--to recreate yourself. When one door closes, another one opens. If you choose it so, this can be a great new start for your life, a new chapter in your life.

In my own life, I have found that hardship gives me an opportunity to flip the script and go epic. It is exciting! There are many exciting adventures waiting for you, when you are ready to take them. And you never know what will happen and who you will meet along the way. And I often find that when something happens (even if I do not like it at first) it turns out to be for the best. It often is only apparent afterwards. I have also learnt that sometimes we can be in a rut and not even know it--that is, until something like a breakup or hardship happens.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

Chimpulous2
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 11:50 am

Re: 15 year relationship over.

Postby Chimpulous2 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 3:52 pm

Thanks Spleefy, your post was heartfelt and uplifting. I am aspiring to develop computer games. I have been learning c-sharp and i have one project i'm focused on at the moment. Today I decided to get back on it and it felt good. Yes logically it was the right choice to end the relationship, but its still going to be hard to let her go. I hope to reinvent myself, go on adventures and find friends along the way. I draw a lot too .... After iv'e done thinking about things, its nice to just draw. But thanks for your reply...its nice to just get someone's support, so to you i'm just grateful. Thanks for taking the time to read and thanks for your sentiment. I hope all is well with you too.


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