We have all heard, 'snap out of it', 'you'll get over it', 'you will feel better tomorrow', right? The list could go on and on with these wonderful and oh so helpful tidbits of encouragements.
One that I have yet to grasp is, 'You don't look depressed' .
Are we to look differently? Shorter, taller? Walk differently? Is the skin tone to be different than others? Are we to be a charming shade of purple? Or have an extra eye? Should there be a mark on our faces that says, 'Yep, you are depressed!'
Understand that with an issue of say the liver, the skin tone can turn yellow; with some diseases there are weight gains and losses; hair loss; crippling effects, etc., you see the illness. Because you can't see the disease, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Would love to reply to those with that comment, but how? It is to be like the old saying, 'Seeing is believing'?
Just my thought for the day.
Love to all
Warmie/Jeanie
Makes me go huh??
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Interesting point... and sorry, I somehow didn't see this post until now.
I can only say that in my humble opinion society still has a lot to learn about depression. It's still a stigmatised health issue it seems in a lot of the parts of the world. This seems quite incredible to me, as depression is one of the biggest health issues people have in the western world.
When will society in general catch up?
What do other people think?
Stephen
Interesting point... and sorry, I somehow didn't see this post until now.
I can only say that in my humble opinion society still has a lot to learn about depression. It's still a stigmatised health issue it seems in a lot of the parts of the world. This seems quite incredible to me, as depression is one of the biggest health issues people have in the western world.
When will society in general catch up?
What do other people think?
Stephen
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Indeed, "Just get over it" = worst advice ever.
As to society and it's need to see physical evidence of a problem, that extends far past those of us who are depressed. When my wife was alive she had a physical disability after a car accident. There were several semi-sucessful spine and neck surgeries, and she would have good days and bad days. On a good day she could be out at the grocery store, and invariably if she parked in the handicapped spot (with her handicapped placard hanging in the window) some fool would comment "You don't look handicapped." So yes, for whatever reason, many people require some sort of visible physical difference to believe a person has something wrong with them. Why this should be so I don't know.
One possible response.....
Comment - You don't look depressed.
Response - Really? How should I look?
While this is essentially a smartass response, be aware that with some of the chuckleheads out there it will cross the line into over the head sarcasm, and they will answer you quite sincerely! That alone may be good for a few internal laughs....
G.
As to society and it's need to see physical evidence of a problem, that extends far past those of us who are depressed. When my wife was alive she had a physical disability after a car accident. There were several semi-sucessful spine and neck surgeries, and she would have good days and bad days. On a good day she could be out at the grocery store, and invariably if she parked in the handicapped spot (with her handicapped placard hanging in the window) some fool would comment "You don't look handicapped." So yes, for whatever reason, many people require some sort of visible physical difference to believe a person has something wrong with them. Why this should be so I don't know.
One possible response.....
Comment - You don't look depressed.
Response - Really? How should I look?
While this is essentially a smartass response, be aware that with some of the chuckleheads out there it will cross the line into over the head sarcasm, and they will answer you quite sincerely! That alone may be good for a few internal laughs....
G.
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Re: Makes me go huh??
Warmsoul/Jeanie13 wrote:One that I have yet to grasp is, 'You don't look depressed' .
Warmie/Jeanie
I think what they are looking for is some sort of lack of emotion or too much sadness in your physical appearance. Thats what they mean by "you don't look depressed" They expect I guess those with depression experience sadness on a constant basis and never gains any happiness in their lives or are meant to alway look depressed. What they don't know is the reality that we as living with depression do have our ups and down moments in life.. I guess we can't blame them cause they don't know what it's like to feel depressed without being depressed themselves but still it is cruel on how the society does treat depression. Something does need to be changed about this... Good thoughts Jeanie. love ya
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Will tend to think, on this point of 'looking' depression, that we do one heck of a job in covering our feelings. But, society forces us into this situation. That I agree with you on.
Liver disease can cause you to turn yellow, something people can see. Lung problems, seeing a person fighting for air, a sign. Cancer, depending on treatment, there is or can be weight loss, hair loss, the loss of a limb, signs.
Heard something interesting on the news today.
Depression is right up there with all the main reasons for women having heart attacks. Assuming this would be true with men as well. Now if they can come up with that fact, then why can't they see we don't pick this life and to find something, a cure, that will honestly help the depressed people. Instead of drugging us out on meds that have so many side effect.
My heart goes out to the young children that share this load with us on dealing with depression. So young and unknowing of life. Breaks my heart to see it. What a sad life they have to face.
Rant over once again. Sorry, just something that eats away at me.
Love to all
Warmie/Jeanie
Will tend to think, on this point of 'looking' depression, that we do one heck of a job in covering our feelings. But, society forces us into this situation. That I agree with you on.
Liver disease can cause you to turn yellow, something people can see. Lung problems, seeing a person fighting for air, a sign. Cancer, depending on treatment, there is or can be weight loss, hair loss, the loss of a limb, signs.
Heard something interesting on the news today.
Depression is right up there with all the main reasons for women having heart attacks. Assuming this would be true with men as well. Now if they can come up with that fact, then why can't they see we don't pick this life and to find something, a cure, that will honestly help the depressed people. Instead of drugging us out on meds that have so many side effect.
My heart goes out to the young children that share this load with us on dealing with depression. So young and unknowing of life. Breaks my heart to see it. What a sad life they have to face.
Rant over once again. Sorry, just something that eats away at me.
Love to all
Warmie/Jeanie
(((((((((Jeanie, Emotional))))))))
I can only hope that the next generation does not have the negative stereotypes and stigmas put on them quite as harshly as those who are adults and deal with it today.
Maybe they will actually recognize depression/anxiety/BPD, etc as legit illnesses...I can only hope for a miracle, eh?
I can only hope that the next generation does not have the negative stereotypes and stigmas put on them quite as harshly as those who are adults and deal with it today.
Maybe they will actually recognize depression/anxiety/BPD, etc as legit illnesses...I can only hope for a miracle, eh?
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