ways of life

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moonbeamviolet
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:38 am

ways of life

Postby moonbeamviolet » Wed Feb 27, 2019 6:23 am

this time if I die, no one will be there to stop me. my friend was able to save me once. I can't talk to my mum or my dad, they never make me feel good about myself. my sister is always doing her own thing being 18, and I don't want to tell her about my downers in life. I don't have a friend, I stopped talking to the only one I had as he wasn't ever a good friend, I gave up on trying to make our friendship work after years of trying. the only person I could feel comfortable with was this other guy who is my step brother. he is suffering from depression as well so he understood me so well. he was always there to talk to me and respected my privacy.
on the 2nd of Jan, I cut my arms and went to a bridge, I message him before and he came to me. he wanted to get an ambulance but I said no. things happened and in the end I went to the hospital. it was terrible with my mum, it was all about her and how she felt. the psychologist didn't help me feel better one bit and I got discharged. my step brother was helpful. the thing was that after that night he treated me differently. I know that people would but this was different. he seemed to distant himself from me, ignore me and not respect my privacy, telling my mum everything I told him. he was the only person after 15 years on this earth that I could finally open up to. but then I stopped talking to him about my emotions, I stopped trying to hang out with him. I did try to but he never seemed to want to. no one did. the only person I talk to is my sister. I haven't been able to tell anyone anything and not feel uncomfortable. an old friend of mine I have talked to a bit. she has depression and autism. her friend left her when she figured out my friend had autism. I comfort her as I have always admired her so much. she is amazing.
in 5 weeks time I turn 16. I don't expect much to happen. I will go for my learners permit and try to get my license soon to be able to escape my mum. she is terrible.
I just wished my step brother could treat me how he used to.
I wish someone, just at least one person could actually want to be with me, not judge me and never leave me.
I just want to not be judged by everyone, this world is cruel enough to me and the last thing I want is for all people to just be cruel too.

flip00008
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:32 pm

Re: ways of life

Postby flip00008 » Tue Mar 05, 2019 9:11 pm

Sorry all of this is going on. Depression is something that I have fought for a long time now. When my son was really bad sick... I stayed in a dark place. I found that reading my Bible... Doing hobbies I loved, such as fishing, kayaking, hiking and camping. A lot of times... by myself. I will be praying for you. Hope to hear from you soon.

HopeIsReal
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 10:58 pm

Re: ways of life

Postby HopeIsReal » Sat Mar 30, 2019 11:46 pm

Hi There!

I'm sorry that you are suffering. It is no fun when you feel alone and have no one who cares. I would recommend getting a journal. Sometimes it's nice to write to yourself and to think things through.

I do have some hope to share as well:
I believe in the one true God.
In the beginning God created the heavens,
Earth, and man. He said it was good, but
Man chose to do things their own way and sinned. And sin separates us from God.
In the Bible God shows how He still loves us even when we sin.
So God sent His one and only son, Jesus to come to earth.
Jesus was fully God and fully man. Jesus never sinned,
He lived a perfect life. When Jesus was on the earth
He healed the sick, cast out demons & raised the dead.
After that Jesus not only lived for us, but He died for us.
When He died on the cross He died for all the sins of
Humanity. In three days He rose from the dead. When
We choose Jesus we can live a life of freedom.
Now we are not separated from God anymore.

God is with you always. He will never leave you or hurt you. He cares for you. He sees you and knows you.

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.


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