Self improvement brings to shame

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Eske
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 3:31 pm

Self improvement brings to shame

Postby Eske » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:24 pm

How can I improve myself if it means facing my flaws - even for a minute? I already know deep inside that I'm not supposed to live and I live only thanks to selfishness - yes, my selfishness keeps me alive - so I don't have that GREAT desire to EXPLORE even more reasons why I don't deserve to have been born. I'm ashamed of anything that's about me.

apddown
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 8:53 am
Location: Netherlands

Re: Self improvement brings to shame

Postby apddown » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:31 pm

Why do you have to improve yourself? Just accept who you aer and try to live with the things you dont like. Everyone has flaws. I know I have a lot of them and some are pretty serious. Sometimes you can change them and sometime you cant.

Eske
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 3:31 pm

Re: Self improvement brings to shame

Postby Eske » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:44 pm

Every person has the duty to improve themselves. .-. And I have it even more, because I already kinda don't deserve to live.

apddown
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 8:53 am
Location: Netherlands

Re: Self improvement brings to shame

Postby apddown » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:49 pm

Why do we have to improve ourselfs, what is the purpose of it. What is the purpose of life? In my opinion there is no purpose in life. We are just the product of a complext system of biochemical processes, which leads to nothing. We are born, we live and we die. It starts with nothing and ends with nothing. And in between we make a mess of it. At least that is the only thing I am good at.

Eske
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 3:31 pm

Re: Self improvement brings to shame

Postby Eske » Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:31 pm

We are born, we live and we die. It starts with nothing and ends with nothing. And in between we make a mess of it.

...can I write it somewhere as a quote? Hahah.

Self improvement enhances the chances for survival, that's why we living beings engage in it. Of course life starts and begins with nothing for us individual lives, but not for life itself. That's why we like sex and food, and kill ourselves only as a last resource. And it's very hard to find the courage to die.
... but I'm rambling.
I'm trying not to think like a depressed person (...hah). To hold at least an appearance of achieving something, improving myself, being civilized and... uhm... wise? Or at least reasonable. An equilibrated person. At least the appearance, huh, when I have the strength to display it.


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