Depression Understood Forums

I think the hardest part of battling depression is how isolated it makes you. Well it makes ME isolated. I suppose we all battle it in our own way. There are plenty of days where I want to be around people but you can't just pull a human out of thin air. Relationships need nourishment and unfortunately my friendships are short lived because eventually my depression returns and I need time away from the world. This is my cycle and at the age of 40 I can assure you I've tried everything - joining groups - social and interests, hobbies, changing myself, etc. This is who I am and when I'm happy I'm fun to be around. So I was just wondering if there were other people out there who would like to meet someone to become friends with...knowing that it won't be completely typical. I'm searching for another lonely soul.

I hear what you're saying, Julia. Over time, I've become social-avoidant. And even though I have the desire to keep to myself, it still makes me lonely. Its a very odd "push-pull" kind of thing. Are you working with a mental healthcare professional? That might be the place to truly begin the work of being less lonely.

I hope you find what you need.

Kindly

n.

Yes I've been in some form of therapy since I was 21. Counsellors, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and every other form as well.

For what it may be worth, Julia (and it's possible it may be worth nothing), I've found that getting what I need out of therapy is a function of time. Meaning, I can't go to 6 sessions and expect to have my problems and my thought process fixed. For me, it's a constant process and requires patience. Slowly, my though processes have begun to shift.

Has anything like this happened with you?

I have had moments like that but while work on oneself can modify slightly, I think we are who we are at our core. Well I must only speak about myself and after nearly 20 years of therapy - some therapists I saw for 5 years straight - I have not been able to change my mood or perception significantly. I have put in a lot of effort and have made huge leaps, but at my core I am very much an introvert. I'm ok with this but there are times when I long to have conversations with people, be it friends or acquaintances. Unfortunately despite my efforts I do not make a quality friend:( The loneliness is becoming unbearable.

You sound much like me only I am a young 61. Just lost Mom after being her sole caregiver for a year and now my husband of 5 years tells me he wants a divorce. I'm feeling so LOST! Like you, I don't feel sociable; mostly I don't want to burden others. I do have a therapist but some days, like today, I just can't seem to get it together. Today, I can't stop crying.

julia76 wrote:I think the hardest part of battling depression is how isolated it makes you. Well it makes ME isolated. I suppose we all battle it in our own way. There are plenty of days where I want to be around people but you can't just pull a human out of thin air. Relationships need nourishment and unfortunately my friendships are short lived because eventually my depression returns and I need time away from the world. This is my cycle and at the age of 40 I can assure you I've tried everything - joining groups - social and interests, hobbies, changing myself, etc. This is who I am and when I'm happy I'm fun to be around. So I was just wondering if there were other people out there who would like to meet someone to become friends with...knowing that it won't be completely typical. I'm searching for another lonely soul.

You dont have to be lonely you could break out of your insecurities and press on. You are depressed and alot of people are. I was myself. I was also insecure and didnt trust anyone. I have learned to be more emotionally open when engaging with people. It is what you have to do.