I am currently in the PSW program and I was doing my two weeks of community placement and i failed because I didn't take initiative or was too quiet. Everything else I done right, the clients had no problem with me, I even took part in singing and dancing activities with them when i hate those two things in public. My mentor (the one whom I was supposed to follow) was hardly there watching me and I did take initiative on finding things to do. But what does that matter if i was a little quiet? I did my job, no one complained about me. I came in early everyday, made sure i was back on breaks on time, talked to the clients as much as i could. Made sure the clients were never left alone, thought of activities or things to talk about with them and I get a failing grade cause im not as outspoken as "normal" people are? I did my best with the social anxiety I have and I still get a stupid failing grade. Every job requires communication and I am trying everything I can to do what I want to do. I dont want to be stuck doing something i dont want to do because of my illness? Why do we get treated differently because of it? No wonder why people hide it becuase of how mistreated we are. All I know is now I feel I am trapped in this glass frame and I can't go anywhere, accomplish anything because of this illness I have. I tried and it was right there, the door was right there and I could see its light but as i was stepping through it someone "the normal world with the normal people" closed it and locked it on me. Its like we are stuck behind closed doors cause of our difference, but isnt difference supposed to make us unique? not to be treated misfairly or judged as insane.
I am just really pissed off cause I was so close.. now I have to re do two weeks at another place but who knows when that will be. Ya im still young (20) but I wanted to feel accomplished and now with what happened I just feel so much like a failure. Life and people really do suck sometimes.
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it really did!