cant get 2 minutes to relax.

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heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

cant get 2 minutes to relax.

Postby heavyheart38 » Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:43 am

Aargh this is driving me potty. I cant relax, i got triggered this afternoon, and im so peeved at the world. I need to relax, mrs is in a septic mood with me for some god forsaken reason, kids are screaming and yelling wanting me at the same time. Just over everything, its ganging up on me again.....

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Tue Feb 25, 2014 3:07 am

And now im sitting in the bathroom tears streaming down my face feeling like i been beaten with a lump of iron pipe. This sucks big time

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Tue Feb 25, 2014 7:28 am

Hi HeavyHeart38,
I wish I knew something better to way other than that you're heard. If I could, I'd give you a big hug, and then arrange it where you could leave home for a break.
Do you think that mrs is maybe overly stressed herself- therefore, lashing out at you? At any rate, it's crap, huh? Sorry...

Have you two discussed any kind of arrangement where the two of you can take breaks at designated times? I know it would be extremely helpful. (We all need some time to breathe and to regroup).
It may not benefit you now, if you can't get away. Right now, just know that this despair will pass. In the meantime, know that someone gives a darn.

Ieris
Posts: 217
Joined: Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:36 am
Location: London

Postby Ieris » Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:33 am

Hello Heavyheart,

Sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.

I don't know what it was that triggered you off but I agree with 4everme that you should take a break. You need way more than 2 minutes to de-stress, more like 24 hours or a whole weekend. Life can be stressful and sometimes people just need to take some time out to take a breather.

I once read a book that suggests taking 1 day off a month to get away from it all (any sort of commitments - work, family, relationships, problems etc) where you can do whatever you want. A "me" day where you can drop everything without guilt, be free and do absolutely anything you want. Laze around all day if you wish, do the things that YOU have always wanted to do, don't let "life" get in the way. It is so that you have something to look forward to each month, most people pick a weekend so it doesn't conflict with work. You can pick the same number of each month or be a bit more flexible and take one when necessary. See it as a treat because you surely deserve it!

We are faced with new problems all the time which can be rather draining, so do try to take some time out and charge your batteries, don't wait for it to go flat.

x

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:08 pm

My trigger is so stupid. Its seeing people display affection to each other. Holding hands, kissing each other, gazing into each others eyes. Its all what i crave, but life seems to make it impossible, added to the fact is my other half isnt an overly affectionate person doesnt help. Its always too hot, you stink, there always seems to be a reason why i cant have the affectiin i so desperately need. Im so thankful formy 7 year old daughter, i can get hugs from her but it just isnt the same

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:10 am

Hello Heavyheart,
Have you shared these feelings with your wife? In depth- no emotions barred? How does she react to you?

It seems you're a good father, but I know what you mean when you say it's just not the same. The hugs of your child are precious, but also come from a different type of love. I hope your wife will fulfill you with the kind of love you long for. Don't give up...

Why don't you buy her some of her favorite flowers, and write her the best poem you're capable of writing. These should provoke a flood of reminders/memories of when you two first fell in love. Get creative. If these things don't touch her heart, I don't know what will.
It's worth every bit to rekindle that romance and affection though.

Make sure that everything is straight from the heart. If you can't write poetry, then write her a letter describing how you felt about her from the moment you laid eyes on her, and how you need her now...
Maybe because of stress, she's lost touch with the man she fell in love with. Begin recourting her again, and watch what happens. There has got to be love in her heart for you, right? You just need to try and revive the romance between you two. It may feel like a one-way street at first, but stick with it until a 'merging' could take place. What have you got to lose??

I have another piece of advice. Find something she doesn't enjoy, (some household chore) and make the sacrifice of getting it done for a while. This, in itself, will put the WOW factor in her heart. At any rate, let everything you do convey how how much she means ti you. :-)

Last, but not least, keep us updated!! Share what you're doing, if you'd like, and it mat be a positive
example to other married people on this site who also need to reignite their flame.

Remember, it takes work to ignite a flame. If it slowly goes out, it takes more work to rekindle it again. However, if it produces a fire? It's well worth the effort. Be consistent, no matter what. Something's just got to give here! :-)

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Thu Mar 06, 2014 12:56 pm

I have taken your advice and i have planned an overnight stay at one of our regions finest five star lodges. We go tomorrow! See what happens....

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:43 pm

Oh! I'm SO very happy for you!
And I am flattered that you took my advice- humbly speaking. :-)

Please keep us updated on this beginning of a new beginning!

I'm wishing you two the very best...

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:14 am

Well its been a few days since we came home. We haven't been this way toward each other in such a long time. Its great. A big plus is the best talk we have had for years and got a lot of issues that were festering out in the open and resolved, our affection and intimacy has improved fourfold. I am now pursuing getting my meds changed away from celexa to something more "helpful" in the bedroom. I am so endebted to you all. Thanks

Apple2
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2014 3:19 pm

Postby Apple2 » Wed Apr 02, 2014 6:45 pm

How are things going now?

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Sun Apr 06, 2014 4:08 am

To above poster, not too bad. Still having "difficulties" but she is now more understanding. Im now weaning off the citilopram under advise of my GP, he is not interested in the wellbutrin( zyban stop smoking drug over here) so Lord only knows what he gonna put me on. Its been a week of tab and a half and feel myself not too bad, but not 100%. Pretty obvious i need something to keep me balanced out. He has also informed me that I wasnt dysthymic, just has dysthymic traits. Im bipolar. Makes a lot of sense....

heavyheart38
Posts: 58
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:58 pm

Postby heavyheart38 » Sun May 25, 2014 4:50 am

I'm off the citilopram tomorrow, been on half a tab for a fortnight, l been moody, grumpy, and, I've been told, a shithead. I can feel the slipping and descention back into the dark. I have a fortnight of no meds (apart from the lithium) to survive before a go back to the doc. We've had sex twice since the wean off with a 50% success rate. I'm tired and not really interested, have "approached" in my normal fashion and been rejected about 8 times, siting I'm a shithead and an ungrateful bleep who does nothing for her or the kids. Lately I have been working 11 hour days and coming home stinking of sweat and have been physically spent through work. Is an hour sitting down doing what I want to do ( facebook, auction sites, my hot rod forum) too much to ask? Thoughts on this or suggestions appreciated...


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