Diplomatic Plates

[nenkohai]

As I write, I'm sitting in my psychologist's office. Waiting.
I always put my appointments in my phone calendar. I'm pretty good about that. Except, he's seeing another patient right now. And I'm angry. Because I am pretty sure I got it right.

I think it's time to find a new doc. I'm starting to think this guy doesn't want me as a patient. He says things... Almost passive aggressive. I told him my mood cycles during the day. Later in the appointment he said "cycling" sounded like "someone" read something somewhere and was now just regurgitating the word.

Nice, doc.

Then, I asked him if there was a word set or certain vocabulary I SHOUlD use, and he looked at me very oddly. Wanted to say "Dude, I'm trying to make this easier for both of us."

He thinks I'm wasting his time because I withhold information from him. I withhold information from him because I don't trust him. He strikes me as rather voyueristic. Yep, I told him that a few sessions back.

Not digging this. Not at all. But I do need a doc to supervise my meds. I'm not liking this.

[nenkohai]

Well, I just talked with the doc between his appointments and he was contrite and apologetic. His computer dumped his schedule info.

Bottom line is I was correct. But I still am sacrificing my time at work to take a later appointment (9:30 instead of 8). That puts me into work at 11. Two hours that I will have to make up somewhere... Gah

[hollyann]

Sorry nenokohai. Have you tried looking into a new doctor yet? If you don't trust the one you are with you probably aren't getting what you should out of it so I'd definately say you should try and find one you can trust.

hollyann

[metaLarsllica]

((((((((((((9 nenokohai ))))))))))

Gosh hun, sorry it's been so rough for you lately. I also agree you should probably should find a new doc if you don't trust them. I had my councling today as well, I've tried several times, but I just don't feel a connection. So I have started the search for another as well. Hang in there hun.....

Meta

[nenkohai]

((Meta)) ((Hollyann))

Thank you both. I kinda have mixed feelings about a change. Sometimes my doc seems like a jerk, other times, he's been very helpful. Plus... hate to say it, he KNOWS me, ya know?

He's not a coddler... he's not trying to comfort me. And I'm okay with that. He tends to put a metaphorical mirror up in front of me and says, "look at what you're doing..."

We always seem to come around to the convo of how I want and/or expect life to reflect or be art. (you know the idea/saying about art reflecting life, right? He believes I'm trying to create a reality where the opposite is true... fact is... he's right).

He says I'm searching for "It." What ever "It" is... a certain spiritual or emotional condition. Something.

He's right.

So... how to explain all that to a new doc, ya know?

Thank you for your words, though, ladies. I do appreciate it so very much.

[crystalgaze]

If you ever really get fed up, you know what to do. It sounds like you two brawl and shake hands afterwards later. Um, well, gee.... I don't know how to describe it, but maybe it's psychology after all.