Not trusting anyone

[evil_piggy]

To cut the long story short..I've been dealing with depression and (mostly) anxiety for a long time now. In some ways I've learned how to live with it and then ..on the other hand I'm still eager to learn much more since I feel there's still a lot of room left for improvement.

It all started about ten years ago (wow a decade!) and I wondered if anyone else went through a similar phase.. Here's a little story anyway so you get the big picture: For me everything started with a panic attack, a really heavy one. Later on I was told by my therapist my panic attack was accompanied by depersonalization and derealisation as well. From that moment on it took me about a year to seek professional help (or any kind of help really). I played hard and swam against the stream (of anxiety and panic) all by myself until it completely exhausted me and led me into depression. That's when I started therapy. It took me some time to get out of the depression and to learn how to control anxiety. Some time meaning years from the first panic attack. After that initial 'hell', I now mostly deal with anxiety and sometimes negative thoughts which are mostly due to me not leading the life I'd like to.

Anyway, back to the question I wanted to ask. During that initial period during which I didn't ask for any kind of help with my panic and anxiety I went through a phase when I didn't trust anyone. It wasn't just about that general idea of trust; having trust in someone etc.; it was about not trusting people (even kids) about the silliest things. I remember a kid talking to me about say..how he/she played with their toys and how many trucks he had and me not believing a word of what the kid said. (It sounds funny now) However, no matter how much distrust I had at the time I knew there was something wrong with it and that I had to gain the 'trust' back so I fought the thoughts in my head until they vanished. Thinking about it now it all sounds funny. What I wanted to know is if someone else had a similar experience? Tnx!

Not-so-evil_piggy

[St8arrow]

To cut the long story short..I've been dealing with depression and (mostly) anxiety for a long time now. In some ways I've learned how to live with it and then ..on the other hand I'm still eager to learn much more since I feel there's still a lot of room left for
improvement.

From St8arrow:

I like your positive attitude.

From evil-piggy.

--- Anyway, back to the question I wanted to ask. During that initial period during which I didn't ask for any kind of help with my panic and anxiety I went through a phase when I didn't trust anyone. It wasn't just about that general idea of trust; having trust in someone etc.; it was about not trusting people (even kids) about the silliest things.

I remember a kid talking to me about say..how he/she played with their toys and how many trucks he had and me not believing a word of what the kid said. (It sounds funny now) However, no matter how much distrust I had at the time I knew there was something wrong with it and that I had to gain the 'trust' back so I fought the thoughts in my head until they vanished. Thinking about it now it all sounds funny. What I wanted to know is if someone else had a similar experience? Tnx!

Not-so-evil_piggy

Not-so-evil_piggy sounds much better. I cannot say that I had a similar experience but I can say that it sounds like someone close to you might have done something that left you feeling that nobody could be trusted. Do you want to talk about it or am I completely wrong???

[evil_piggy]

Wow, it's been a long time since my last(first) post on this thread. Tnx for your reply...

The feeling of distrust might have partially been caused by someone in my past. I did feel let down by some people. Though I don't think that was the main reason. I think it was due to the way I was. I can say I was quite naive when it came to some things prior to that period in my life. Bright but naive, you know?:) Sweeping the things under the carpet and not letting myself see them or act up on them. Anyway, I don't think finding out the reasons is of much use to me now. The important thing is that those thoughts vanished, I just wondered if anyone else had a similar experience. I know of some ppl in real life who did, but I wasn't able to talk to them more about it.

If you'd like to share more about you, please feel free to do that, even if it's not related to my topic. I wanted to read more about you but I couldn't find a way to visit your profile and maybe find the links to your threads of posts.