question

[lilypink]

I've struggled with depression for awhile, but even when things are going well, I've noticed something: I do not want to be alive. Please note, I am not in a suicidal crisis and am very much against suicide , I am not going to do anything to try and kill myself because it is far too much work and because I would not want to put my friends and family through that (I've had people close to me both die through other circumstances and commit suicide). That being said, though, I do not actively want to be alive. I'd prefer to pass on from this life to whatever's next if given the chance. I don't really know how to tell a therapist or even a friend all of this without being locked up unnecessarily on suicide watch. Anyways, just wondered if any of you might have any thoughts on such feelings and if anyone has successfully shared such feelings with others without people freaking out. Thanks.

[Obayan]

sometimes we become complacent in our depression. It's familiar and we know what to expect and how to deal with it. We have to fight against this. It's part of what keeps us down. We also sit anxiously during the good times waiting for when the next bad time will hit us. One thing I keep saying to myself...

Let the past live where it belongs. Behind me.
Let tomarrow come when it may.
Let me live for today and in the now.

[crystalgaze]

That's a good mantra Obayan.

For you lilypink, what I would ask myself is: Why? Why don't I want to be alive?

Since you have also recognized this issue, what I would do now if I were in your shoes is to start tackling & change from a negative outlook to something different.