Anyway.... Here's my "Oops! I did it again!" moment.
I was triggered about 2x yesterday. After the 1st trigger, I overloaded. I guess it was just my time to do so. I've tried to be so calm mainly for my heart, but I melted down yesterday. Personally, I think I did good, in spite of the event. I didn't take my anger out on anyone. At least, I don't think I did.
I said no harsh words to anyone. Body language might be another story, but it really was not done for people; it was more a manifestation of something being off with my system. Tone of voice was probably off in some places, but again I kept that under wraps pretty well, I think.
When the 2nd trigger occurred, I was already suffering from the headache & chest pain that is my consequence of being angry. I was angry again--more so at slightly ticked off; it wasn't on the scale of the 1st trigger.
Did I mention that the 1st trigger came from a book I picked up to read? (I didn't know books in this age were dangerous. XD ) The 2nd trigger was my Mom, but it really was not her fault. It's just that I'm antsy about people being in my space, totally disrupting the energy of my space, & I was already unwell from the 1st trigger.
I can finally put a finger on exactly what it is that bugs me out about people being in my space. For example, you'll always know when my Mom is around because she makes noise. If she turns on the TV, you can be assured that it will be up LOUD. That means that even if I'm in another room & even sometimes with the door closed, I will hear everything on the TV as clear as day. I really do treasure my peace & quiet, especially after living on a corner where you hear everything, almost without a moment's rest (e.g. rooster, workers building the house across the street, neighbor's TV or radio, traffic on the road, et al).
If Mom comes up to do work on the computer, it is almost always a problem, but I try not to be around when she has anything to do. It's to save myself. She doesn't really want to do the work she came up to do in the 1st place, which is why there will almost always be a problem--whether she's griping about something or trying to push her work off on me to do.
In my space, the griping leaves negativity. The TV leaves intrusion/invasion.
Now when my Dad comes up, his energy is gentler & less intrusive. He really doesn't pull much of a fuss, even when he doesn't know how to do something. It's usually very calm (his approach), so I don't often feel stressed out when he is out & about in my space. I can be in another room & not have to worry about being disrupted per se. He may pass by to get something. He may come up to work on something That's about it. It is rare that I have to worry about a loud TV or anything like that.
(Also, I have unplugged the TV & everything entirely, in an attempt to save myself. It's not that I don't like TV. It's rather that I feel a lot of what's on is junk/garbage & I keep in off to make sure I am not influenced/polluted by the stuff that's on it.)
This morning is a little better after sitting down for a bit & regrouping. I was suffering anger symptoms again.... >.< (D'oh!!) My neck was starting to kill me, as well as my back + shoulders, but it is easing up a little. I might even be able to get back to organizing like I was doing earlier!
I have made progress in a short time. I picked up a good bit off of the floor & soon, I may be able to sweep + mop the floor. (I'm excited because it will be cleaner than it was, which I'm looking forward to.... since it will help me get on the path of being able to get the people to come to do some repairs.)