DESTRUCTIVE URGE

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yes i know ,my lovely daughters ,but you know girl,right now i feel very much taken for granted ,many car repairs ive done this year ,each one takes a little more of me away ,but of course i do love them ,but with love comes pain for me also ,on the up side ,im relieved to see you didnt stop typing ,,thankyou warmie ,,,,,,ken not much pain for you today i hope

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))))))))

One more surgery in the near future and hopefully the pain will be gone. Getting through the holidays first, then will make the decision.

Thank you for caring.

Yes, know that feeling of 'being taken for granted' but the love that comes with it, from a few, makes it balance out. Don't you think?

Warmie

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glad to hear theres hope for the pain ,the holidays yes that tough for a lot of us ,your right about the love ,you know me to well,the car is outside at the moment ,about half fixed ,im inside at the moment about half broken
tommorrow the car will be up and running ,i will not be so good ,but after a few days the pyshical pain it will cause me will subside ,and i wont be blind to that love ,your a good girl, warmie girl .i have another three here just like you ,,,,thanks girl ,,,,,goodnight,,(((((warmie))))),,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken

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hey ,well its 8,am ,im warming my overalls on the radiator while i drink my tea,i want to stay in bed really but no ,im forced into the cold outdoors to fix my daughters car ,my artritic pain in my neck and hands is through the roof ,i can hardley hold my drink ,i dont ask much really ,but it would be nice if something ,just a small thing could happen for me some time ,
miss you guys ,hope your pain is less than yesterday ,,,thinking of you all
,,best wishes,,,,,,, ken

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))))))))

Wish you warmth. Like you, dealing with the pain. Thank you for your good wishes.

Warmie

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hey warmie girl ,thankyou ,hope the pain ebbs a little ,car is finished ,and i feel pretty lousy ,very cold and p,,,,,,d off ,,my fee for the day two very large bars of chocolate ,,,mmmmm, to you pain go away leave my freinds alone ,,,,,,,(((((girl)))))),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))))))))

You got more than just chocolate. You got the undying love of your child. What would she do without her Father?

Thank you so much for the hug, appreciate that. For my pain, I will make the decision after the first of the year on surgery. One more time, LOL. Getting to be a pro at those things. BUT I will be fine. Close friend tells me 'one step at a time', know what? They are right!

Take care please

Warmie

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its ok ,im trying not to be scared of hugs and things ,and the love from my girls yeahhhhhhhhh i know all about that ,they have everything inside them ,i have and i know thats good ,dont type in pain for me girl ,i know how you like your privacy ,,,,bye and goodnight ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ken

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))

Goodnight and good dreams as well.

Warmie

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do you see now ,another reply to a post has caused friction ,my hand has
a poisoness touch ,and the only thing i have were i can go and write how i feel ,is becominmg a frightening place for me ,i feel desperatly upset and
deppressed at these events ,blueisgreen was only defending me i know
and i was touched ,i only asked terry not to pray for me ,and use his prayers for someone else ,but he did reply abrubtly ,but it was still i who
lit the fuse for this exchange to start with ,im sorry but i told you so ,hope you can see what i see. surely it must be clear by now ,if im am to implode
its not gonna happen in full veiw of my freinds ,,,,,xn728,,,,,,,,,,,ken

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i pushed you away without thought ,but all i think about now is the dear freind i had ,so i must make it my mission to ,show that i can be trusted
and one day you may return if you see fit ,i can see how much it meant
but only because i dont have it now ,,,,xn728

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its barely dark here ,but the star twinkles brightly ,i may never win my freind back ,but this gift i will always see ,it will only dim with the seasons
but watever i may be doing or were ever i am it will always return ,and with i will remember a smile i could never see but knew so well,,,,,xn728

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mmmm,i cant get out of this one ,it is so dark i cant find my way out
talking to myself normally works ,and i can recover ,but im just a cabbage ,trying to hide this pain from thr family is worse than the pain itself ,constantly having to try and look happy ,so many times fran has caught me laying down today ,and it hurts her so much ,ive told her all she can do is leave me ,and i will come out of it soon ,but its been a week now ,i thought i had mastered this game ,but the visitor has changed the
rules again and im held down ,im gonna suffer all my life thats clear now
oh i dont feel sorry for myself ,no im just angry no one else can see it and say yes we agree,i was born to suffer for what ever reason ,i started life ok ,then the biker took me and the visitor ,and then i became well
a rebelious crazy ,caused by them ,i dont know ,my fault or not ,this is what i am ,i know im a bit unruly ,but ive learnt that lesson now and i will
work hard to put that right ,my wonderful family i have and of course they will remain loved and protected by me no matter how i feel ,but i need you my freinds ,this is the only support i have my phyco and doc cant help me ,so please stand with me ,let me reach out and feel also
i wont hurt anyone ,ill be ok i know your there and it gives me comfort
i will only give you kind words ,and jf you fall my hand will be the first you feel ,for me to fall and never feel those hands ,would be to much to bear,i cant help worrying insecurity is my freind also ,,,,,xn728,,,,,,ken

[Mich]

You are not alone. My hands are there for you.

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thankyou mich ,how are you doing ,have you been coping ok ,workmen not getting you down i hope ,you always have time for me mich ,
i look forward to your posts and replys ,you look after yourself mich
you know were all here for you ,,,,bless you mich ,,,,,ken