My Love is Utraviolet..

[LittleMiss]

i'v never told anyone this before, so i figured i'd just post it for random people on the internet (not that this is really much to say, but it is just so important to me, not that anyone here even gives a shiz for that matter) ... pathetic, don't remind me

i love someone, who i'll never have.. it's not that he's too good for me or something.. i just will never tell him the way i feel, for most of the reasons i won't even state here.. it's not like i can't 'have' him.. but i just won't take him... (yes, i do realize how ridiculous i must be sounding here but oh well lol)

it still kills me inside.. but i know i can't just live on this forever.. which i won't. but just because i'v 'excepted' something, doesn't mean matters still don't hurt me...

well, anyways.. i suppose i'll just end up being some guy's trophy girl... but sometimes i like to picture things otherwise...

[crystalgaze]

Hello again LittleMiss! You will not get anywhere with all that bundled negativity! I'm saying it to you, just to say, "Be careful with it, ya?"

I have lots of posts all over the forum. I feel comfortable here, so I do it. It doesn't matter if anyone replies. It helps me, so I'm good. If you want to post, then POST! Okay?

The other thing is sometimes it's NOT that people don't give a crap. Sometimes people are quiet for different reasons. (I know when I have an episode I can be pretty quiet. In some cases, I don't even know WHAT to say!)

Also, you don't have to be end up being anybody's trophy girl. You do have a choice in that matter. If it's not to your liking, then don't bother with it. Play by your own rules. You do have control.

Anyway, this guy sounds like he's already taken maybe??

I'm sort of in a similar situation like you.... but I pressed on, in spite of it all. Mine doesn't appear to be taken already, however, I know people can leave out things/fib to get what they want.

I gave it my best shot because he has given me enough clues that I KNOW for sure he likes me. He's conflicted about it, though, & he has a bit of a bad boy past, but I still went for it anyway because on the whole, he does not maltreat me. (I'm making sure to "go with my eyes open" & to keep my eyes peeled.

When I'm around him, I am happier--not happy because I already am that way without him, but HAPPIER. He is very warm, kind & humane. I know that all that can change in an instant, but so far, that's the story. It sort of freaks me out--but is humorous at the same time--how he'll somehow know what I need before I know it.

It's pretty interesting. I even wrote him a [love] letter the other day, which was very hilarious (considering I don't really do those things). There's a promise I am trying to keep toward him, so it was a way of telling my thoughts about things that were said in a conversation we had. He can get very distracted when I am around, so that's why I wrote a letter, dropped it off & left quickly.

Anyway, that's enough about that! (I got carried away for a bit there.

Take care!