Help (My Other Hamartia)

[crystalgaze]

Well, I've decided to post this as part of a "Hamartia" series.

If you look on Merriam Webster, it will tell you that hamartia is a tragic flaw, which is a flaw in a character that brings about the downfall of a hero in a [Greek] tragedy (type of literary work). This is the modern definition.

Many a time, I've been accused of not accepting help or not being able to accept help in general in life. I am so tired of that label being used toward me.

People may mean well, but they just don't get it.... There are some things it's best not to try to help other with or if they will do so, then they do it at the other person's pace.

I will take the example of cleaning. Sure, I could have had everything over and done with months ago maybe, BUT the problem would've been that I would not know where anything is (because I didn't organize it myself).

To make things worse, I do things differently. Let's take cleaning the windows. My dad would tackle it from the outside most of the time. The reason I don't do it that way all the time is that I've cleaned the windows and they STILL look dirty after I've put out all of that effort. Can you say annoying?!

We can also take the laundry as an instance. Unless I cannot do for myself, there is no real way I would want anyone to do my clothes. They're MY clothes. They go against MY body. I wash them a certain way. Therefore, it doesn't matter how much it piles up, I don't want anyone to touch it. I can always wash piecemeal, if it's a big job. Furthermore, how am I to be independent, if someone comes to bail me out of a jam all the time?

Most times, I don't want anyone helping me because the result is usually that I end up angry. What's so funny is that then they wonder why and proceed to put it off on me that I am the one with the problem.

One of the major reasons I can't stand people in my space who want to "help" me is that it usually goes wrong somehow, like today. I said that I was going to eventually get rid of some things, and instead of asking questions, my folks just picked up some of my stuff that I was actually organizing.

I took a nap, woke up and couldn't find the items. I almost thought I was going ultra batty because I KNEW I left my things in a certain spot out of everyone's way, so there would be no reason for anyone to touch it (yet they were no place to be found). Do you want to know why they picked up my stuff? They were 'protecting' me from myself, and then they wonder why I stay upstairs AWAY from them.

Even when we all lived in the same space, I did my best to stay in my room, so I could have some shelter from the madness. When it wasn't one thing, it was the next, and this is how it continued.

When it comes to strangers, most times I can't determine what their true intentions are. Sometimes people are just nosy and want to be up in your business, which is what I don't want. I remember a man offered to help me with some boxes at the mall one day, but he had ulterior motives. (He clued me in with his pushy behavior.)

I don't mind help, but as it's said, good help is so hard to find.