Neither here nor there

[Feelingsareweird2]

I got hurt just enough to be saddened and upset, and fry at the world and everyone around me, but not hurt enough. Not hurt enough to be validated in my feelings, not hurt enough and not loud enough in my hurt, so my hurt was ignored. What's the weird limbo, when You're not happy...but not sad enough to die. When you're hurt, but not hurt enough to be heard, not important enough for people to care. And what's it called when you speak another language in a room full of people who speak the same language...and they can't understand you, and you can't understand them but you're the only one on you're side so you're all alone. And you're jealous of others who can speak that language, people who have found their people, people who are so utterly loved that they drown in it. And then there's you. You who can't even be sad without that being bad too. You who can not allow yourself that small act of kindness, that is, self expression. Poor you. You, who's afraid to believe that maybe you'll die speaking a language no one else understands. You, who's afraid that people will only care when you're not around to confuse them anymore. You, who yearns love and understanding, lonely you.