it's destroying me being so alone

[Tom57]

As of now, the only friend I have had a couple of falls and is in the hospital emergency room now. It's not looking good. Losing him is going to be devastating.

I don't make friends easily.

I find myself feeling tense. At where I live it's hot now. Doors and windows have to be opened for me to feel comfortable and there are times I'm getting some unwanted noises.

[Tom57]

My friend is at a skilled care nursing home now and in tremendous pain. He and talked briefly today and I feel bad for him. He said that he may come back home but there's no telling when. Even if he fully recovers, which that would be a miracle, he won't be the same. So it's very sad.

If worse comes to worse with him, some would say that someone else would come along for me and be a friend. There had been a lot of times when I wanted to replace him as a friend along the way but I've never been able to. It's not going to be easy.

[Tom57]

My friend seems to be doing better now. He and I have been talking lately, which is a pretty good sign. We talked briefly yesterday and for a while last night. He and I talked for a while today also. He's in less pain and is enthusiastic about the physical therapy sessions. He has some ups and downs with health issues other than pain. There's talk that he may be able to come back home fairly soon.

It's amazing that he's had all kinds of health setbacks and yet he always bounces back. Hopeful he'll bounce back well this time.

[kardep]

It’s so hard when the people you thought you could rely on don’t understand or can’t be there for you. Feeling alone like that can be crushing, and I can only imagine how heavy those voices and thoughts must feel sometimes.

I’m glad you decided to reach out here, even if the site isn’t very active. Sometimes just having a space where you can say what you’re going through, without judgment or pressure, can make a small difference. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems that way a lot.

If you ever want to just talk or vent about anything at all, I’m around to listen. It doesn’t have to be all the time or deep conversations if you don’t want. Sometimes, just a little connection can help break that awful feeling of isolation.

Take care of yourself as best as you can. You deserve kindness, even if it’s from strangers like me here

[Tom57]

Thank you so much Kardep for your nice reply.

My friend is being released tomorrow from the skilled nursing care facility, so I'm pretty happy about it. I've called him while he was there but the phone calls have been limited. Plus there was no privacy in talking to him. However he will have some in-home assistance care.

I'm thankful that I have a friend, but I feel like I could do better. He's about 90 years old and not in great health and has limits. Plus he and I argue a lot, especially on personal issues. I would prefer to have a friend around my age but that seems to be hard. I've done so much to get out there to make friends but nothing worked.