actually im not good.

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Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

actually im not good.

Postby athena.vhd » Wed Sep 25, 2019 3:18 pm

it has been almost 3 years i have depression and 2 years in this forums reading others posts and rarely reply but i always read all posts.
i never posted my problems here but it seems that i cant solve this myself!!
a person came to my life almost 2 months ago and actually i fell in love with him i dont know why this much soon. i just didnt tell him my feeling.he still doesnt know about that.
he has a happy life and talking with such a happy person in addition to being in love with him made me feel happier while other friends were helping me .the only problem is not how hard it is to keep my secret of him but the biggest problem is that i thought i got better but when hes not beside me i feel the same so i havent healed!!
this was so sad to believe....i cant make him stay with me forever with no reason .
i used to tell ppl what to do to be happier while im the most upset person among them!!
still in love,so messed up,so confused.

Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: actually im not good.

Postby Spleefy » Thu Sep 26, 2019 10:11 am

Hi Athena,

It takes time to heal from depression. This friend gave you some relief from the depression because you had someone to talk to. But you’ll still need to work on overcoming it alongside the support of your friends and other support networks.

Try not to feel disheartened, Athena. Things will get better. Just continue to put your trust in God and work at healing.

Even if you are feeling unhappy at the moment, don’t ever feel like you are not in a position to make suggestions to other people. We all have different backgrounds, experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and knowledge. We all have something to offer. And I love how you make the effort to respond to posts and be as active on here as you can, even if you feel you don’t have much to say. I’ve seen your replies to posts—they are so thoughtful and comforting. And, sometimes shorter is better; whereas I probably waffle on a bit :lol:

As for your friend… I get that you love him. Just try not to have exclusive dependency on him (or anyone for that matter) for happiness. This is where many people often make the mistake. Some level of dependency on others is healthy—but exclusive dependency is not.

Some people rely on other people more than they rely on themselves. This leads to disappointment. So surround yourself with loving and supportive people that will enrich your life—and do rely on them as they will you—but also rely on yourself just that little bit more.

And realize that, at the end of the day, the only person that can make you happy is you! If you put exclusive dependency on others to make you happy, and something happens to them, where will that leave you? Do you understand where I’m coming from?

It sounds like this friend of yours is enriching your life. This is great. And if he has been good in your life and good to you, then definitely continue to build up your bond and friendship with him. It can be hard to find good friends and people we can rely on in this world. I’m so happy that you found someone you feel very comfortable talking to and it has helped. But be sure to work on your own healing, too. This will create a healthy relationship for both you and your friend.

One last thing… don’t underestimate how far you’ve come with your healing. Progress is often in small steps, not always in leaps and bounds. Just keep taking those steps, one at a time. And if you fall back a few steps… that’s okay! Your real friends will be there to help you back onto your feet, but you’re the only one that can put one foot in front of the other.

Hope it all makes sense.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: actually im not good.

Postby athena.vhd » Thu Sep 26, 2019 1:56 pm

im happy u read this...
yes ur right its an exclusive dependency and i have to find a solution.
ur post give me energy and im thankful for that.
wish u all the best : )

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