If I Could...

[nenkohai2]

I would apologize for my weakness;
... maybe my inability to see the future...
... not knowing myself... that I could not follow-through if it was causing pain.

If I could, I'd apologize for the wreckage of spirit that I caused. The breakage. ....the confusion of mysticism with emotional overdrive, the movement of Spirit with fulfillment of addiction.

I see it and understand it NOW but I didn't THEN. I am sorry for not understanding myself. Things would have been different. And would have ended differently. I am profoundly sorry.

And now, it is past time that I begin working on forgiving myself.