Depression Understood Forums

I can't seem to get anyone on the phone to keep my mind off of calling or texting him !!! I am going crazy !!! I am so full of hurt and anger is starting to set in...how could he do that to me? how? what did i do to him? what did i do that was so bad? why do people think they can just treat you anyway they want and expect it to be ok? what the heck was i thinking ...loving someone so cruel and heartless? why does it hurt so bad???? I want answers i do i can't help it! i want to shake him like a rag doll and scream in his face "what were you thinking????" "do i matter so little????" I am at a breaking point and i cannot suffer in silence anymore...my good nature can only hold out for so long...then the redhead takes over....i am so furious!!! haven't i been thru enough? why pick on me? why didnt he stop before he totally broke my spirit?

((((((((( mamasam ))))))))))))))))


It wasn't about anything you did or didn't do! It was HIM! (I'm sure of it!)

It hurts so badly because you LOVE(D) him! When you truly see yourself with someone, it hurts when it doesn't happen!

Please use your energy for yourself!!! It will be hard, but don't you dare take it personally!!! That is how I got through mine! It will only harm you when it's done that way. Forget him...!! Later for his rass!

It won't happen right this minute or even tomorrow.... but focus on yourself because he is getting his jollies with that other woman & not even thinking of you. PLEASE.... I'M BEGGING YOU! Tell yourself "No" & "No, not for what he did!"

For someone who didn't treat me properly, I stopped talking to him. I don't call him. He is nothing to me. He doesn't exist. I knew of him for 14 YEARS.... It hurt, but you know what? In the end, I was so glad not to be putting up with his bull, his hurtful snide remarks & more--all out of love....

I guarantee you that TRUE/REAL LOVE IS NOT THAT WAY!

Well, it seems you got your trust betrayed or something like that. Calm yourself down of how you deal with your feelings. I've been cracked a couple of times and it ain't pretty. Or go on if it makes you better a little. If you see of what i see. How is it? The pain that grips you. Makes you want to do something. But fear stops us. <Well><Forgiving> ASk him what's wrong, that easy.

Once again you are right! I am making you a cyber Promise That i will NOT call or text him I am also almost to the point (i don't want to break a promise) that i will promise you that i won't even answer the door... BUT I will promise you that I WILL NOT TAKE HIM BACK...even if he brings a 2 carat diamond ring with an emerald cut, on his knees , naked with a long stemmed rose between his teeth NOT all of the begging in the world would make me want to ever go back to this place of pain i am feeling right now and the sheer fact that he can put me thru this means he never really loved me. I have to see that ...as painful as it is i must see this..

I am going to high five you on that one! It's good to see a little humor in it....

It's so that you can be stable.... Indeed, LAUGH... Don't let anyone take away your smile! Okay?

If it happens ever, please laugh! Because I know it will be funny!!! ~rofl~ Let me bring that one back a minute....

Oh dang that was funny...!


2 carat diamond ring with emerald cut... ok

on his knees.... ok

naked with a long stemmed rose between his teeth..... XD



YOU GO GIRL!!! That was classic!

well, the site of him naked Crystal is kinda unnerving cuz he is a hairy hairy man lmao...i never liked alot of hair on a man, and he is balding with glasses....now don't get me wrong ... he is handsome to plenty of women with a very big slooong lmao, so the site of that naked would have you rolling ...wearing nothing but his blue eyes

~double rofl~

Edit: Don't worry.... You will get another man who will have what you want & who will do right by you.

Just remember to focus on yourself & getting past this momentary unpleasantry..... & when you focus on yourself & your state improves for the better, things will fall into place....

Don't worry about any of it!

Your so awesome! I think you should wear that skimpy bathing suit for the HE!! of it and swish and sway all over the place i am certainly gonna do it this summer Thanks for hangin in with me so late ...i appreciate it (((((((((((((((Crystal))))))))))))))

~lol~ Not a problem

((((((((((((((( mamasam ))))))))))))))))

darklight, i appreciate your reply, but i have simply asked....what's wrong... he lied! plain and simple, lied for months and months and months and months, but i believed all of the lies for sooooo long. he said i was perfect and had i not moved that we would be married by now, i said , well i'd move back ...of course if we got married...he then said, oh, i'm confused...i think i still love my ex gf/secretary who does psyco crap all the time...Then he said ..oh my heart is torn in two, i love you both and cannot decide, i waited patiently...6 months back n forth .after dating for months ... i have invested a little more than a year with this man, i know it doesn't seem like that long, but i did more with him emotionally, physically, sexually then i ever did in my 19 years of marriage... we were so connected, or so i thought....I am not going to convince any man that i am the best pick for him, he asked me to several times...thats not me! if you can't see or feel that i am the one for you and you keep telling me there is something missing with her... yet you still hang on to her ...and tell me that I am too good to be true and it "scares" you?!? WTH??? ....now i know why, he was stringing us both along. I am not the "head games" type...i am pretty straight forward with it, i'm 38 and i am too old for games, unless it's in the sheets lol... but you would have to really know the entire situation...he is a douche bag...and i am apparently a douche bag magnet lol

Aw, I have often felt like I was a douche bag magnet too. I've done (probably more than) my share of wrong, but in general I try to do what I think is right and be good, so I wonder why I am being punished? I think maybe the jerks, the predators, prey upon the good hearted and vulnerable. They can't get away with it so easy with fellow douche bags who see through their bull, but we, wanting to believe in people and think they are like us, don't see until its too late. But, we are much wiser now. Hurt, but much, much wiser.

I didn't realize until the very end how much my ex had lied...little lies that wouldn't amount to much except that I would have maybe seen him more clearly had I known. He had been hurt much, suffered much mentally, and was insecure...so I put up with behaviors like you describe in the "manipulative man." But no matter why, we should and must be in control of how we treat others...and I need to take responsibility for how I allowed myself to be treated. As long as I put up with it, he would continue to dish it out. But, I forgive myself, as they say, love is blind.

You deserve better than someone who lied, cheated, then absolutely refused to make a choice between the two of you. Of course the players/operators have their charms...they have to to get away it! But someone reminded me, even the worst people in the world have some good qualities. So you and I need to remind ourselves constantly of the bad when the good makes us long for them. You are in a different position than me in that yours is likely to come around beggin' you to take him back...he's done it before and likely will again. So prepare yourself. Maybe imagine over and over how you will deal with it when he does.

Or, as ((((((((((Crystal)))))))))))) says, if you do go back (and that is your choice, we cannot judge you, love is powerful), at least you do with your eyes open.

(((((((((((((((mamasam)))))))))))))) wishing you strength, comfort, and light...

(((((mamasam))))) Please be careful here and keep your eyes wide open.

(((((((((((((((((shattered))))))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((((Mich))))))))))))))))))
Thank you both for so much! DO not fear shattered, i am trying to envision what i would do, how i would handle it....i think i want him to come back begging so i can "throw him away" just as he has done to me. A part of me knows that i firmly told him not to, so maybe i will never get that chance. We shall see, but i do know this, i cannot trust him, i cannot believe that he loves or ever did really love me, the man whom i fell in love with does not exist, he is a figment of my imagination because the man i love would never have treated me this way...not in a million years would he ever want me to suffer at his own doing. I can never go back to this place of pain, ever and knowing he is capable of such hurt only scares me away.