Depression Understood Forums

Recently, someone I know had problems on the job.

He will be resigning soon. He was falsely accused of trying to kill a former worker whom he had to fire/ask to leave, since that person was causing problems on the job.

This someone I know, now faced with his own issue, had an extreme urge to commit suicide. I don't know the details exactly, but from what I understand, he was asked to leave (or he will be fired or whatever).

This person called me almost on the hour one day recently & in my head, I said, "What is up with this?" This is someone who does not really call me & then call me like that....

I didn't pick up the phone, as he has a tendency to only call me when he wants me to do something or call me to involve me in schupidness....

Being asked to leave is a major thing for him because he has NEVER been told that ever in all his life. He is also in his late 50s or early 60s. To him, there probably wouldn't be time to start over again. He has always been in control & walked away/resigned from several jobs because HE WANTED TO LEAVE. (He could never really stay still & would get tired of being in 1 spot for too long.)

The reason this extreme urge for suicide was ironic, in my opinion is that this is someone who had a lot to say when I had my situation. To be exact, this is the same person who said that "people who want to commit suicide are selfish & they should just do it [& get it over & done with blah blah blah blah]...."

He has experienced it for himself.... He's singing a different tune now. Karma has a way.... Doesn't it?

(Of course, I am not rejoicing; what I am saying is that I believe he will be able to empathize with others now, after having walked that path himself. The only question I have is: "For how long?" A lot of people return to being cruel/callous/insensitive as soon as things start going well for them again.)

You are right when you say that this person's situation is not something to rejoice about. It speaks well of you that you've been able to avoid schadenfreude. ( However tempting it may be. ) However, I have to admit that there is a certain irony in this. I'm reminded of something I once heard, " Knowledge only becomes wisdom when it becomes your own experience. " I know that I could never have imagined feeling as bad as I did, if I hadn't experienced it myself. And, having experienced it myself, I'm even more cautious about the judgements I make of other people.
As to whether this person's emotional and empathic " range ", for want of a better word, will expand or remain expanded. Who knows? Perhaps, this underlines the importance of not judging people narrowly. Perhaps if you have an " intent of mercy " towards other people in their problems and rough spots, you will be able to have the hope that they will do the same for you.
However, at least to some extent and for a while this person you talk about, unfortunately, might be learning the truth of an old Russian proverb. A proverb that says: " If you treat everyone that you meet as your enemy, sooner or later you'll be right. " If someone judges others quickly, isn't there always the risk that others will apply the same judgements to them? Perhaps that's one of the few " upsides " of depression, anxiety, etc, perhaps it does make you pause and at least try to " walk a mile in the other person's shoes. I'd like to think so, anyway. And, still and all, if he's in the same dark place I was in, I can't help but hope that he finds his way out of there, AND appreciates his good fortune in doing so!