new pain

[xn728]

Today started badly ,i felt really bad about something ,took it to work with
me ,then brought it back home ,looked on the forum and it got worse ,
feel now like i could die ,but my life is not mine to take ,good job really
because i stand at that dark place now ,were life ends and death begins
but its not for me ,not yet anyway the visitor has me held up against that dark door ,my feet are off the ground ,its grip is tight ,but it to screams into my face because even it does not have the power to take my life
love from my family forges the chains that restrain its power,it to feels the pain i feel now ,its foul breath cold in my face ,my head pounding
with the increased flow of blood from my angry painful heart ,beating loud in my ears as the foul dark liquid is pumped round my weak ,acheing body
im lost for words i run around in my mind from door to door ,looking for
some form of explaination ,nothing just thud ,thud,thud,my heart beats so hard my chest hurts why beat so hard im not running ,my whole body shakes with each beat ,i must try to get some rest i cant go any further
the visitor will hold me till it sees fit ,its strentgh knows no limits ,it came as soon as i became weak ,it knows i feel everything very deeply and will use
every trick it knows to keep me within its grip ,but i dont care ,ill stay here forever,in this black place ,im at the end here ,nothing can touch me ,words cant hurt me ,i did try to get better ,i dont have to tell them .
if they dont know my story ,then they havent read my posts ,and if they havent read my posts then they dont deserve to understand anyway ,43 years ive given to depression ,but 43 years ive given to trying to get better as well ,its an illness and sometimes it cant be cured, ive always given everything to everyone else who as asked something of me ,tonight i will stay with the visitor ,i will find comfort in its horror,,,,,,,,,,xn728

[xn728]

didnt sleep much last night ,head is still thumping now ,migrane i suspect
ive had more tablets ,but im on the limit now ,so the head will have to thump ,the visitor gave me lots to think about ,and as expected ,i feel very depressed now ,how im gonna cope with work i dont know ,i know i will have to go ,and that hurts even more ,when you dont have a choise
it make it so much harder ,but as always i will go and come home it will
be night ,and then day again ,endless pain ,my pain please xn728

[Mich]

I hope that going to work gives you some distraction from your pain.

[darklight32]

hey, don't you think we'll die alone , with our last moments in this life of ours, I'm not in deep as your in but later on, i'm in the emptiness where there's a hole in my chest, with lonely eyes that people don't wanna come, we are wanderers in the darkness as we walk blindingly, here's what keeps me distracting from it, 1.listen to music that you like, whether it's sad mad rage heavy light, 2.exercise for we need strength if we'll be continuing in the darkness not to be weak as pitiful, 3. we must not fear, fearless, 4. we shall ascend in every problems that may arise, 5. declare yourself as the master your body/soul, 6. be in control, not to make these things to make you a prisoner, 7. you want a seven? well, don't usually write this big, but i was in the moment thanks to this music Alesana - The Emptiness, just came out, i guess it just boils my blood,

[jasikamarshel]

Your pain you tell here,first a remove your bed thoughts a life and death is not in person's hand then forgot, you never think that a life end a death begin this way you be upset and you never live a life,when a life end then you never a do any thing then all the things give it to in a god 's hand and enjoy a life with a family,best a forgot everything this a best for you.

[crybaby1086]

Hi (((((Ken)))) How are you these days? I am now 31 plus weeks pregnant with my son! And doing well. I hope you and Fran are doing well.

[darklight32]

Well, now i understand of your post.