I have decided to publish something I wrote

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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I have decided to publish something I wrote

Postby paoolowww » Mon Apr 04, 2022 1:14 am

I hate myself in several ways, my whole physique and everything I am, I still can't find reasons to want to continue, I can't get well, and I have no hope that this will work, I think it's because I don't do anything right and I have no hope in myself, I feel like I'm a hopeless case, I feel worse than before and I can't understand my feelings or the internal pain I feel, everything in my mind is chaos without any kind of order, I feel so destroyed inside , I feel that nobody loves me, I feel that someone will never care, I feel that they are lying when they say that they love me, I really doubt it, and that I do not usually receive so much affection, and it is strange because I do not understand why it makes me feel bad that no one loves me, I can't find why that makes me feel bad, I feel so weird questioning everything because I'm just looking for an answer or I don't know, I just want to calm down but I'm so anxious that my thoughts become more difficult to understand right now, everything seems to go faster Gone, I have no control over anything I can't calm down and I'm so sad and I can't find the reason for my sadness, everything overwhelms me, I try to write what I think but it also makes it a bit difficult for me because I don't write everything in an orderly manner and I don't i write everything down because i know it's so much but every thought and feeling is so hard to describe and decipher i start to think that all my "problems" are silly and don't matter, also nothing makes sense the world is empty we're all empty we think that to have moments of happiness or to have a stable life then we are fine as people but really it is because it is more satisfying but that is what is really good or is it correct? I feel so confused with everything, I can't find any explanation to want to live, to how I feel, to what I think, everything, I feel trapped in my mind I can't see what is the point of wanting to continue with all this, neither why I feel the need to hide, and it is very difficult for me to talk about what I feel because it is pain, but I cannot find a complete explanation for it

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