I'm sorry to myself
Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2020 10:09 am
i've been working so hard in trying to adapt , to be a better version of myself , to not repeat the same mistakes , to built something i would feel proud of . But no matter what i'm never enough , i hate anxiety , i had a crise i couldn't stop myself before my test today . I studied for 4 days , only to doubt myself , telling myself that i can not do , thinking i'm not good enough even if i worked so hard i swear i do but i just can't , it is never enough .
The University is killing my mental heath , i've been crying as much as i study , i always end up with a headache . I sleep 3 to 4 hours per day . My insomnia has been draining me for weeks , i'm tired emotionally and physically. I can't stop crying and i have a lecture in 20 mins .
Whenever i do believe in myself there is always this thought , this voice which is pulling me down in that spirale , i've been trying so hard to get away from . I'm tired of been a failure . Why am i not good enough ? Will ever be enough ? Am i allowed to ? Do i even deserve it ?
The University is killing my mental heath , i've been crying as much as i study , i always end up with a headache . I sleep 3 to 4 hours per day . My insomnia has been draining me for weeks , i'm tired emotionally and physically. I can't stop crying and i have a lecture in 20 mins .
Whenever i do believe in myself there is always this thought , this voice which is pulling me down in that spirale , i've been trying so hard to get away from . I'm tired of been a failure . Why am i not good enough ? Will ever be enough ? Am i allowed to ? Do i even deserve it ?