Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid

QuercusRubra
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:33 am

Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby QuercusRubra » Thu May 21, 2020 7:52 pm

Im 23 years old and i know i will eventually take my own life. This used to terrify me, but now it is as normal as the sun setting. Nothing particularly devastating has happened recently but this thought becomes more common and easy to swallow. Someday when i manage to distance myself from the last of my loved ones, i will accept death with open arms. This may sound dark to you, but life for me is harder every day. Im not concerned about some sort of afterlife, i just know im finished with this one. Its now just about leaving behind as little pain as possible. I dont need counsel or support, this is merely a place for my thoughts.

Kwhite55
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri May 22, 2020 1:51 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby Kwhite55 » Fri May 22, 2020 1:54 am

Dont do it. Ive felt the same. Im just too scared.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby littlestarsmum » Fri May 22, 2020 4:52 am

I’m sorry to hear that that, friend. Please know that your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. Putting an end to your life is not the answer to life’s problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. We all need courage to live and not to put an end. Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. Would you like to share what’s going on with you? Looking forward to hear from you. Stay strong. Hugs.

Brennen_Green20
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:51 pm

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby Brennen_Green20 » Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:22 pm

Hey QuercusRubra, just wanted to know. You okay mate?
Hope you're doing good.

QuercusRubra
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:33 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby QuercusRubra » Sun Mar 28, 2021 12:36 pm

Brennen_Green20 wrote:Hey QuercusRubra, just wanted to know. You okay mate?
Hope you're doing good.


I'm still breathing if that's what you mean? Still think about death a whole bunch and whether I can keep "this" up for a lifetime. I will be turning 25 this year. I don't understand why anybody gets up everyday, goes to work, cooks themselves food, and pretends they give a shit. What's the point to it all?

Tjesus
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:13 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby Tjesus » Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:32 am

Hey iknow how the feels when I was 25 I was in the same spot as you . Thinking to my self why do I want to keep on leaving if I haven't accomplished nothing or felt any happiness anymore why stay alive. But looking at my family suffering because of me I hated that the most thats a horrible feeling. It took me a while to realize if I died my family will be devastated and I can't forgive my self . So I fight for life for them what makes me happy is their happiness. Am not 100 percent cure but I fell like I got purpose in life .

So plz don't think about taking your life when you have love ones plz fight. Think positive even if you feel so lonely. Fight so you can be better and you can see your love one happy .

QuercusRubra
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:33 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby QuercusRubra » Mon Mar 29, 2021 6:34 am

Tjesus wrote:Hey iknow how the feels when I was 25 I was in the same spot as you . Thinking to my self why do I want to keep on leaving if I haven't accomplished nothing or felt any happiness anymore why stay alive. But looking at my family suffering because of me I hated that the most thats a horrible feeling. It took me a while to realize if I died my family will be devastated and I can't forgive my self . So I fight for life for them what makes me happy is their happiness. Am not 100 percent cure but I fell like I got purpose in life .

So plz don't think about taking your life when you have love ones plz fight. Think positive even if you feel so lonely. Fight so you can be better and you can see your love one happy .


This is the thought that I struggle with the most. I didn't ask for this life. I am of no use while I'm here. However, because my passing would cause my family grief, I must trudge on though life with a smile?

CamGirl
Posts: 143
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby CamGirl » Fri Apr 02, 2021 2:07 am

I pray for a miracle, for your miracle, that somehow you find a reason to go on, to be happy in life. I may not know how it is for you but please, if there's a glimpse of positivity, even just a little, I hope you see how lucky we are, the ones who are still breathing.

username
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2021 4:14 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby username » Fri Nov 19, 2021 4:27 am

Im sorry you feel this way. To be honest I completely understand this feeling. All I can say is try everything else. Suicide is honestly the LAST option. Try everything to feel better. Quit your job, move towns, group therapy, talk therapy, dance therapy, art therapy... try it all.

tyyy12
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Apr 16, 2024 10:02 pm

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby tyyy12 » Tue Apr 16, 2024 10:39 pm

Even though I am young, young enough to probably not even be allowed here. I have thought about this a lot, And i made a conclusion that life means nothing in the end, we are all bound to die someday. however, life is about living with that in mind and having the most fun with what you have, make a plan, I did.

In the end, All that this life is for is to live doing what you love, or a goal. I have made myself a goal and I will stick with it until I dont have time for it anymore, surround yourself in people you love. not just family but friends and good people you can share your problems with, that is my goal in this life. however it will probably change as I grow with age, just know, it takes A lot to change. but it takes your life to quit

Other
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 08, 2024 12:27 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby Other » Wed May 08, 2024 1:00 am

To QuercusRubra.
As of this post it has been over 2 years since you've last been active. I just wanted to say that as someone who knows the kind of situation you're describing all too well. That you would rather everything just stop, the thundering heartbeat pulsing in your ears, the breath in your chest, prolonging a meaningless existence one second at a time. And knowing that you could just lay there and wait for it to be over if it wasn't for a few people who it would tear apart to find you have passed. I understand, or I at least think I do. I'm not going to tell you not to like all the others, and if this message never reaches you or I'm too late then so be it. But I would like you to know that at least one person hopes that you are happy with whatever your end may be. I hope that you are able to reconnect with loved ones and somehow find meaning in the meaningless, because that may give just a little hope to the rest of us. Or if not that then I hope you are able to leave as little an impact with your plans as you can, just the way you said you wanted to, just the way I want to.

Sorry for the block of text. If this does somehow reach you then let me know how you're doing, I'm curious.

hannana
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 08, 2024 7:06 am

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby hannana » Wed May 08, 2024 7:08 am

I also had old friends. To this day, it is no longer possible to connect with thembubble shooter

I-Will-Support-Ya
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 26, 2024 6:26 pm

Re: Im going to kill myself... eventually.

Postby I-Will-Support-Ya » Sun May 26, 2024 6:36 pm

Don’t do it pal. Once I felt the exact same way and very nearly did it. Luckily I didn’t and I got help instead from professionals! They are still helping me but I’m slowing improving. There are other solutions to problems than killing your self, trust me :(


Return to “Expressions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests