Depression Understood Forums

I’ve been struggling with depression for nearly a decade now. When I met my husband my depression wasn’t too bad, so he didn’t know about it, but it got worse after having our first daughter. I am not close to my family and I have very few friends. No one, except my husband, knows about my depression now.

I’m going through a very hard time at the moment. I’m down, so nothing is good enough, I take pleasure in very few things and the only thing keeping me going is making sure my children have a good mum.
I try to act normal, but all this sadness, frustration and unhappiness I take out on my husband. I try not to, but when I’m like this, it feels like he is my enemy.

We argue, because I have high expectations of him and I feel he is a disappointment. Whenever I am down, those feeling resurface in me. Needless to say he is not very fond of me anymore and our marriage is breaking up.

I am the problem here, and I really want to turn this around. Has anyone been in this situation and have some advice?

Not married and not in a similar situation but one thing I learned is putting expectations on someone can ruin everything because you are burdening them which can make things worse. Have you both considered couples counselling? Hope it works out for you Seastar

What really hurts is when you wanted to fight for your partner but there is nothing you could do anymore especially if all things are falling apart. Counseling would really be helpful, try to relax your mind and ask for professional help. Things will be more clearer.

I don't know if this will help you, but when I feel like someone is disappointing me I try to see if it is really me that I'm disappointed with- it is common to project feelings of inadequacy on to our spouse and other loved ones. Good luck I hope you can get it all worked out