Depression Understood Forums

thats it - to those I care about I just dont exist anymore unless they can hurt me or destroy me then I just dont exist

What you said may be the start of you getting stronger mentally. Think of a military soldier, they don't blink an eye when they get insulted by the average joe/jane. They've been to hell and back. What would be worthy of their attention is being sent back to war. That war I assume for you, and for sure for me comes from inside. Unless the people on the outside are worthy of our care, they are little "birds of a feather" who squawk together. It took me a long time to distinguish the difference between the ones who squawk because they themselves feel crappy or are just plain crap.

Twinkle319 wrote:thats it - to those I care about I just dont exist anymore unless they can hurt me or destroy me then I just dont exist

I'm sorry twinkle39 that you are experience this. What happened? have you tried to talk to the people that hurt you? you know that hurt people ... do hurt other people. as odd as this sounds, try to forgive them for what they do. try to talk to someone about the situation(s). a friend, family member or professional. you are not alone twinkle39. you reached out on here so I am talking to you now. focus on the positive things that ... the simplest things... you can see, hear, talk, walk, feed yourself, breath, shelter, bed... the list goes on. you are worth the effort. Believe in yourself my new friend. hugs... keep me posted...

I can relate. When I feel like that it isn't because people don't care about me though. Its because I'm so afraid of losing the people I care about that I convince myself there is nothing more to me.