break up advice

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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break up advice

Postby MickD » Mon May 08, 2017 2:57 pm

Has anyone got any real solid advice on a break up ?

I recently went through a break up (not the reason why i became depressed but certainly a factor)
She in my eyes were perfect while we were together but we started arguing towards the end over petty stuff really, nothing actually substantial, she moved in with me quite quickly and we went on holidays and i think thats what ruined it by moving too fast.
I dont usually fall in 'love' and ive only said it twice in my life (im 26) but i fell for her.

Anyways she found out she would be going abroad to work for a month and conveniently ended it because of the arguing a few weeks before. i recently found out she had a holiday romance while over there and she doesnt really want to talk now shes back (shes left some stuff at my house and before she went away she said shed collect it when she feels 'ready').

Ive seen her in a different light the last few days and i know it cant of been the best relationship because it ended, but annoyingly i have these feelings still despite it all, memories and stuff.

has anyone any solid advice to get rid of this?

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Re: break up advice

Postby CitM » Mon May 08, 2017 4:37 pm

I don't know the circumstances, but it just seems that neither of you were right for each other. She met some need in you, and maybe still does. And you did for her. But obviously you two are not compatible in enough areas. When this happens, I always like to think, ok, I know what was good here, and I'm still looking for these things in a person. Maybe for you, someone who is not only interested in a relationship, but can be secure enough in the love for each other that you can go on overseas business trips and it's not the end of everything.

I would look at it that way.

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Re: break up advice

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue May 09, 2017 4:07 pm

It's never easy going through a break up. Sometimes it ends badly other times it's mutual. It never ends well despite how the relationship ended.

As you said you did think both of you weren't right got each other to begin with. Maybe thinking back to the start of what you wanted from a relationship and hoe your relationship with this girl went. Do they both compare? Was it what you wanted all along?

You can say things happen but I do believe things happen for a reason. It may or may not be anyone's fault but looking at you as a person knowing what you wanted can only help moving forward to having a more happy and sustainable life.

Start off with building your confidence back again. Go out as you use to, meet new people, go and do the hobbies you enjoyed and spend time with people who liked having you around. Things will soon look up but please don't blame yourself. I know it's easy to but takes two people to make a relationship break down.

Keep positive.

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Re: break up advice

Postby MickD » Wed May 10, 2017 11:59 am

Thanks guys.

The thing im struggling with most is the fact i actually fell for her and how perfect things were at the start, with only petty things ruining it.

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