Depression Understood Forums

I feel as though I'm not worthy of happiness, or of life really. I just can't get that thought out of my mind. It was brainwashed into me as a child. My mom would always tell me I'm worthless, a pos, lazy just like my dad, fat even though I was 5'7 and 125lbs. My confidence is diminished completely. I don't have hope. Sometimes I think I should give my children up so they can be with happy people. I'm not happy. I may hide behind a mask but kids know deep down that something is wrong. Especially since I can barely play with them. I feel so worthless. I don't like life. I can't sleep. I eat one meal a day unless I'm super hungry then I eat something else. I binge eat on candy bars. I could probably eat 6 all at once. It's awful. My body is disgusting after I had children and everyone says work out. I hate working out. I never had to work out in my life until I had kids. Ugh idk where to end but I suppose.

Hey Elaphatasis , your totally not alone... I have been there and felt just the same, like there's just no point carrying on because you can't see that the feelings your having will ever end. But they do, even if only for a short time things do bet better, well for me they did for awhile and you start to see all the good things and that you really are worth something, I'm sure like me , you are something to your kids and they admire and love you. True they will sense something is not quite right but its better they are with you and I'm sure you love them to bits. Hold on and just remember that someday and somehow eventually you will feel better and that people are out there who will listen and try help talk through your issues if you want. All the best and please take care, don't make any decisions whilst you feel this way.