Depression Understood Forums

I don't like talking about these kinds of things to other people. I'm not the open type. I mostly hide how terrible I feel. I don't like feeling miserable and letting other people know that I am.

I hate how other people define me, how my friends define me. They restrict me to these labels. I don't like others defining me. I feel restricted. This feeling of being boxed. I just feel sad.

Most of the time when these emotions hit me, I sleep.
I sleep everything off.
Because when I sleep I don't feel depressed, empty, and lonely.
I don't feel restricted to act in a certain way.
I'm nothing.

I wish I could just vanish.

You write beautifully. I suspect that most people wouldn't understand this quote:

I mostly hide how terrible I feel. I don't like feeling miserable and letting other people know that I am.

When you write:

I hate how other people define me, how my friends define me.

I have to reflect that people are defining you by your actions. When you write:

Because when I sleep I don't feel depressed, empty, and lonely.
I don't feel restricted to act in a certain way.
I'm nothing.

I have to think that there is something that only you know what you could do, awake, where you wouldn't feel depressed, empty, and lonely. You are right that you are not restricted in any way. What would make you feel fulfilled? There are things you have to do .... but is that all?