Depression Understood Forums

Hi all
I need some help.

I found out today that someone I've got to know well has committed suicide. I met her 2 years ago in hospital when we both failed suicide, ever since then we have talked loads and got along well, helping each other through each cut and each attempt.

I feel like its my fault we spoke 2 days ago and I knew she was down, I knew she needed my support but I just couldn't help as not in a very good place myself at the moment. if I had spoken to her more, listened to her more and helped he more she might still be here.

since I found out this morning I haven't moved from my bed, I haven't spoken to anyone and I can't stop crying.

I don't know what to do and I don't know if I can deal with this

my friend wrote me a letter when i was young she was mentally not well.
i could not cope with much at the time , i never replied.
i went to another country and two years later came back .
she had committed suicide , i felt guilty and still do in a way.
but i couldn't have done anything to help her.
your friend is at peace now.
you are not responsible for her, her life ,or her death, that was her decision, it had nothing to do with you.
know that some one cares
take care

Hello zs158,
Fallen is right. You can't blame yourself. I'm truly sorry for your terrible loss. (for yours too, fallen)
I can see where you'd FEEL it was your fault, but it really was not. There was no way you could know she would end her life. It's a tragic thing to have happened, but you can't heap the burden of guilt upon yourself. You are also going through a lot yourself. This leads me to consider your own self-harm. I'm begging you not to do this out of a desire to punish yourself! You don't deserve punished, if you don't know this. Myself, I have cut a few times in my past. It took some praying, and to have my eyes opened up, to realize how wrong it truly was. I'm not judging you in any way. But, there has got to be another release for your pain. Do you journal how you're feeling? This helps in unburdening your chest of those hurtful thoughts in feelings. I do this now, on occasion, and find that it truly does help.

I'm glad you're posting. We're listening, and do care. I wish you only the best, and please remember that your friends suicide was in no way your fault. You are not the cause. But I'm sorry for your loss, and feel for your pain.

It can be hard for those of us here, who are in a pretty dark place ourselves to offer much help to others in a similar situation. I agree with our friends above and believe you shouldn't blame yourself. Your friend was in pain and now, at least, she is at peace. The pain those close to her feel will fade in time.

Good luck my friend