Depression Understood Forums

Ok, so I'm crashing again. It's been 16 days. Not much rhythm at that cycle. At least it is only 8:30 and I can lie in bed a bit longer. I've been up for 3 1/2 hours showered, caffeinated, done some work, watched the news...Darn,..the news. I've got to stop watching the news. There are so many good reasons for me to be down. So few to be up. It's like wading through alphabet soup to find the right letter. And the rest of them, they seem so urgent, but I have no answers, no solutions.

Sometimes I feel ashamed; I'm in good health physically. That's so important isn't it. And so many people are struggling with a range of health issues without immediate solutions. But I'm not young, and I've been without health insurance for three years. It's only a matter of time. And now the government will start charging me a penalty for not paying for what I can't afford. No doctors, or financial relief on the horizon for me.

Still, why today? I wish I have a clue what drives me over the edge. I want to wake up ( I did sleep well last night) and have some energy, to want to get to work, not to waste so much energy just maintaining focus. I want not to feel like, every day, I'm marching to my doom, like there's no point, no winning, no meaning, no support, no redemption, no color, no light, no dark, no encouragement. Because I "know" there is. I have the evidence. Why can't I believe? No one gets out alive anyway, do they?

Seems like somewhere along the line I was told I was entitled but unworthy. Then they turned the tables (with no explanation) and said instead "Actually, OK your worthy but your no longer entitled". And I'm like, ...What?!

Niyama - translates into "certainty

I hear you, Frame. And, what language does Niyama originate from? Please don't tell me English! Haha.

Yeah, it's truly screwed up that people will be fined for not obtaining health insurance. What a messed up system.
It's good to watch the news. Yes, it can be frightening and depressing, but we need to know what's going on around us. Fox News is the one I like to watch. It's most dignified and informative.

Frame, always remember you're worth something, regardless of how low you feel. I hope you have a good day, or atleast try. Hope it's warmer and sunnier than it is here! Take care.

I just saw one of my friend today. I see him on jobs here and there.
He is a carpenter and works for himself. He's got 3 sons, 22, 24 and 27. His son of 24 is in a wheel chair, he can't talk, can't walk, can't eat by himself, wears a diaper 24/7.

His wife stayed at home to take care of her son but she died about 8 years ago, of cancer at 40. Because she couldn't work because she was taking care of her son, her husband is not entitled to a widower's pension. He doesn't get a penny from the government.

This guy gets beaten on on every side yet he is the happiest guy you could meet. He loves his sons, he adores his crippled son and he talk about his deceased wife like if it happened to somebody else. He's always there to lend a helping hand to whoever needs it.

He met this woman, about 2 years ago, she's very pretty, very good to him and his kids and has a job and her own money.

My friend thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world.

It only goes to show.

Thank you Pilule

Hi Pilule,
It's people like your friend who 'make the world go around!' So, pay no credence in the song: Fat Bottomed Girls.... LOL.

Is he a faith-filled man? Certainly sounds like it, and I'm willing to bet that he's a blessing to all who know him. What an inspiration to not only those of us on a depression site, but to people everywhere.
Thank you for reminding us there are people like him in this world! Wish he was a friend of mine.

No No Niyama.

It's what the West wants to deny.
It's what the East finds important and profound.

Are there other cultures around the world which will pay year after year for
"insurance"; money we hope we'll never get back?

I hear in the orient, people pay their doctors monthly fees, not their insurance companies. They pay someone to actually do something, to actually work to keep them well rather than paying into a huge system that waits till you get sick then cuts off the parts of you that are going bad.

Are other cultures around the world paying home insurance, car insurance, flood insurance, life insurance,...? Anyone out there not from an English speaking country? Is this sanity? The insurance companies were the first to go belly up last dip in the economy. Does everyone else live under governments that licence casinos and rake off a cut to help the elderly poor. Apparently, we would rather stick our hard earned money into boxes with flashing lights and sirens (and feed casino owners and real estate developers) than pay the state to help the poor.

We seem to want to pay insurance to deny an uncertainty we can't escape. And pay a slot machine in hopes of beating a certainty we can't deny. What the heck did I just say? Never mind; I know what I said (but I'd like to deny it [or at least plead the 5th]).

Hello World