IS THIS REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK???

[4EverMe]

What is it that I want in life? And what is wrong with wanting??
I don't wish to be wealthy. If I were? It would bring me joy because I could help people and animals in need. It is the LOVE of money that is the root of all evil. But the love of sharing is more sacred than the love of receiving. My point is that I'd be content just to be financially comfortable. Right now, I could sure use a vacation. Many of you probably feel the same! (that I could use a vacation) Haha! It would be unimaginably nice to own a vehicle-- to wake up one morning with spontaneous plans to travel the coast.
Financially secure, I wouldn't worry about gas, or seaside lodging for the nights I wished stay. (Let's just say six months)! Gourmet chocolate truffles, cherry cheesecake and brandname coffee creamer (hazelnut) would be sitting in my fancy wancy room. Why? Just because they can. I need a cottage by the sea, to be walking golden shores at sunset. I should be able to lay on the beach at night, and be at peace.--To be free.

[4EverMe]

To dream is wonderful. To know my dreams are fruitless? Almost unbearable. It truly does hurt me. I ask myself why people who take everyone/ everything for granted, are the ones who go or are taken on these trips, who do experience the more favored things. For people like this, it's just the regular thing to do! (being happily spoiled) Notice the sarcasm in 'happily.' Many don't appreciate what they have, the added extras...the adventure unfolding each day. Perhaps, their BIG indifference is what bothers me the most...that arrogant sense of entitlement! I'm one who often attributes romance and beauty to what others hardly blink at; Maybe I owe this to my inner-artist. But I'd rather appreciate little than to crap on a lot.

Please don't misunderstand me though; It would never anger me that someone else has things I may not. I just wish that people were happy with what they had, and would stop dismissing it as just a general thing.
Anyone else feel this way? Sorry--I guess it totally disgusts me!

[fallen]

some of us are meant to experience excess, some poverty some pain, some suffering, some loneliness that is our learning, it is what we came down for.
it is only through hardship that we learn our strength, this makes us kinder and more beautiful than anything that money can buy
i have met rich people and poor people yet it is the poor people who are the most generous and the kindest.

[4EverMe]

Hi Fallen,
It's been a little while, and it's good to hear from you! And thankyou for your input. This was very well said.

I too believe there are individual tests we must pass to ascend and progress in personal areas of faith/growth. Of course, surrounding life's trials, is that wide open space called free will. Choices made by 'self' and others, have a further reaching ripple-affect than we realize. Positive vs negative. Strange how an individual mind is as one drop in a vast sea. But add us up and we've the "collective consciousness." I like to think of the collective consciousness as the sea. Each surging wave is a group of like-minded people. When waves mount to form tsunamis? Powerful! Individually we do matter, and collectively we should always remember that we each can make a difference.

[fallen]

that was very profound and beautiful
take care

[4EverMe]

Hi fallen, In your last post, there was another great point you'd made. Last night, I typed up a full-paged response to it, only to watch it disappear into phone glitch land! Boy, was I pissed! Though patience is NOT my virtue, I'll try this once again...
Your general comparison between the attitudes of rich and poor were straight on. Earlier in my life, there were some times when I desperately needed help. I noticed that the people who had least gave most! People who have fallen on hard times tend to be more 'empathy-endowed.' They're also more generous when they DO give. I've met others throughout the years who 've shared the same sentiment you mentioned. Yes, suffering can and does beautify the hearts of many! But, do you wanna see something pathetic and almost laughable? It's the 'good-samaritan' who waves a dollar bill for all to notice. (while their wallet busts at the seams)

[fallen]

you just described my mother in law, she must be seen to be doing good with one hand whilst trying to hit her grandchildren,[ my nieces] with the other.
such a lovely human being ?!
take care

[4EverMe]

Hi there fallen!
You responded right after I posted! Your profile name should be Swift. Haha. How is life treating you these days?
I'm sorry about your mother-in law, and sorry for you all. Is she downright abusive?
There are so many people who put up a fake front. It's been this way ever since the beginning of time. Atleast the dinosaurs who were carnivors didn't flash their teeth only in secret. Haha! If another creature ran across this grinning, blood-thirsty beast, it knew full well what the implications were. No Jekyl and Hyde thing here- Lol! More like: "I don't know if this is Jekyl-- Just know I need to frickin Hyde!" (don't know if I spelled Jekyl right)

I wonder if I've ever 'momentarily' appeared fake. A person who doesn't know me may view me as a chameleon at times! It's not that I change who I am to suit others. Never would. But I AM a multi-faceted person; Different types of people bring out various sides of me that already exist. It's rough having 30 plus personalities in one box. Haha!

[fallen]

when i read your posts and frames and alaskas i feel like the dunce in the corner of the room back at school [ by the way boarding school is a great place for a schizophrenic] , you are all very intelligent ,wordy and funny.
unfortunately yes my mother in law is violent behind closed doors both verbally and physically, my wife and her sister copped a lot of abuse. my in- laws played lord and lady muck over everyone. but my wife always showed them great kindness even whilst being abused.
funnily enough when my father in-law died suddenly it was found that he had been fraudulent, pissed away the millions on parties etc, and to top it of he was gay not that that was an issue it was just the lies and the hypocrisy of it all.
but the karmic sword cuts through the flesh of a fool and they crawl through the mud that was their life to the oblivion which awaits them - karma never misses.
4everme i think you should write a book or scripts .
take care

[4EverMe]

Hi fallen,
Wow!...Thank you VERY much for the compliments! I'm both flattered and surprised. I've gotta tell you that I was shocked to read how you've felt like a 'dunce' in comparison to us...You?! Ever since I first read any of your posts, I've considered you intelligent, wise and insightful. You tend to say things that provoke deep thought and inner analysis--FAR from dunce-material. (You can get out of the corner now).That said, I'm glad to be hearing a little more from you; I was beginning to wonder where you'd went! But even if you really were a dunce, you'd still be contributing to society. People need the 'dunces' to make those who aren't look hell of a lot smarter. Haha! To be honest? I thought you might've stopped talking as much because I was coming off as sort of a dork! Well, it's nice to feel more at ease. I DO suffer from low self-esteem. Oops. It's out now.
I'm sorry, fallen. The only thing I've to offer in response to the rest is that I definately know how abuse feels. I empathize!

[fallen]

fallen walks from the corner of the room takes his dunce hat off , and sits at the back of the class and looks out the window at the galah on the old gum tree , contemplating life and the mysteries of the universe.
take care

[4EverMe]

Fallen should not have been sporting a dunce cap to begin with! By the way, ur post was nicely written. After this reply, I'll be looking up galah/gahlah in the dictionary...I just KNOW I mispelled that!
When I was in school, I also chose to sit in the back of the room. I like all of my surroundings to be in full view! Call me the 'observer,' I guess. Also, it meant that I wasn't caught as often day-dreaming. Hmm. Now that I think about it, I usually sat nestled in a back corner! Wonder why this was more comforting to me?

[fallen]

when you are at the front you see the steering wheel you are holding on to, the pencil you are writing with, the computer screen on your desk at work.
when you sit at the back of the class you see the universe sprawled out in front of you , you see the beginning and the end, and in the corner of your eye you see a flash of white light , at first you don't believe it but you see it again until it comes in front of you and it is you in light form and for the first time in your life you realize you are infinite.
take care

[4EverMe]

Through all of eternity...Forever precious, us creatures He made infinite...

This might be deeply strange for some. For others, what I'm going to write will resonate with familiarity...as though they've somehow always known it, but in the recesses of the soul.
Daily, we're all here for eachother. We lend a helping hand, though we each struggle with our own individual pain. Deeper within we know, that in bringing light to others, we're brought closer to the light ourselves. It is inside this place of light, where hope casts its rays. And once again, we are reminded that we matter. We are beings of infinite worth. How could we NOT know we've the power to penetrate darkness, when love is that light we wield? I believe some of us have already 'met.' In time, when we find ourselves in the eternity, we'll greet again the friends we know now...and we'll remember all it was before. (Currently, we must each be tested).

[4EverMe]

By the way, I just wanted to add that I wasn't entertaining the idea of reincarnation. (something I don't believe in) I was only referring to 'eternity.' I'll just leave it at that...Does anyone else understand what I wrote above? I'm just curious what a little feedback could reveal.