Depression Understood Forums

Their licking their chops. Their just outside, waiting to sink their fangs into me. I don't know what to do, where to go, how to act.

Years ago I, in a support group a someone would recite their mantra; "I am enough." And I thought, "that's good, that's logical. Yes, maybe if I recite enough times, I too, will feel like I'm enough." As of today I still have recitation Fail. I don't feel like I'm enough; don't yet believe.

It's more like life at the Carnival Ring Toss; "Three try's for a dollar. OhOooo! So close; Try again; Payup."

It's like I never learn. I learn everything, read everything, keep passing tests, getting certificates. Never amounts to one rain drop of success. Just seems to make the down hill slope a little more slippery. When will I learn not to learn. Then maybe they'll leave me alone.

But it's warm outside. Today, anyway. And there's coffee....

Maybe learning to measure "success" differently????? Screw the old ideas you had about that...you woke up today, the day is warm, there is coffee, you made it through another dark thought, you loved yourself, if only for a minute, you smiled at some point, and it was not fake or forced....sometimes it is a succession of little things that mark success, not our degrees or education or WHAT OUR FAMILY THINKS...

We care, I think you have incredible insight and have helped me since I read your posts...

Hi Frame!
Oh boy. I'm sorry but I have a crazy sense of humor. Although I didn't miss your point, the comments about the carnival ring toss and your end statement about it being sunny out and there's coffee? I busted out laughing. It's not that I'm making light of your stress. It's just that I think that way myself. Whether stressin or not, I tend to throw out crazy, out-of-the-blue comments that crack people up. And the creatively worded description of the lions and your wondering what to do, how to act? Lol! Be still. DON'T RUN. Show NO fear. And never sh** in your pants--ESPECIALLY if people are around to witness it. You'd NEVER live THAT one down. And add tranquilizer darts to those items that MUST be carried on your person at ALL times!

I'm sorry Frame. Got carried away with my progressively weird nature...I wanted to ask you if you consider yourself an over-achiever? If so, this could be causing considerable stress. If so, could your mind/body be telling you to slow down?