:( idk

[Sheyehs]

i have no idea what i'm doing here. here meaning the forum... and in life in general..
there's not much to say really. i'm silenced by suffering years with ptsd, and severe anxiety issues.. which causes social silence.. and keeps me from going places.. meeting people.. i've spent quite a bit of time in the chat room... mostly i greet people when they come in.. say bye when they leave...
i am seeing a therapist.. and contemplating medication again.. although.. i've been up and down that tree over the last ten years quite a few times, and not sure i wanna try it again.
i wish that i could say i'd sometime soon be able to talk about my suffering with other people who understand ptsd and or anxiety issues.. but truth be what it is... i'm to shy.. and frankly, even the thought of bringing it up in the room seems to spike my thoughts into a whirl wind of why/why-nots... which i eventually give up on battling.. and remain quiet. i've noticed about myself tho.. that one on one.. when i do get into a PM or thread with someone.. i begin opening up. i guess maybe i'm just afraid.. afraid to lower the walls i've been building since i was 6... they're pretty high.. and with good reason.. meh.. idk.. i dont even know why i'm postin this...

[crystalgaze]

Well, I'm glad you would post anyway! Hello there!