Fingers are getting tired. Triggering material.

[St8arrow]

Hello Mrsderby:

Obviously I am guessing here but at the same time it is an educated guess. Let me know if I am close to being right or not. I think you believe that I am a well meaning old man who thinks that he knows far more than he actually does. Since nobody knows everything, I must agree with you.

But the difference between what I know and what the Doctors having been telling you might just save your life. After all, you have been mostly following their advice for some thirty years or more and all they have done so far is to leave you in a state of mental anguish that has you almost hoping that your life comes to an end.

I know you believe that there are physical reasons for your situation and you are right there are, but they are not as hopeless as you have been led to believe that they are. I am about to share a story with you that I hope will convince you of the veracity of my conclusions.

________________________________________


HELEN’S HIVES

"An investment in knowledge pays the best dividend."

Helen Irving had a loving and compassionate childhood environment but her parents did not verbally express their love to their children. In her late 30’s, Helen had four children of her own and since she and her husband had split up, Helen was left to support her young family herself.

A colleague at work who had just came back from holidays, mentioned to Helen that her extended family held a family picnic get together each summer. Since Helen had moved some 100 miles away from her childhood home, she decided to set up the same kind of picnic for her family also.

The next year came and once again her colleague talked about a family reunion and Helen realized that she had not followed through with her plans. She made a promise to herself to make it happen the next year and this time, she followed through with the plans.

Two months before the family picnic was to occur, Helen’s mother died. Helen blamed herself for her procrastination. It was her fault that they never had the family reunion in time for her Mother to attend. For more than a year after her death, Helen found herself pretending that her Mother was still alive, as if to assuage her guilty feelings.

Helen broke out into hives and visited her family Doctor. After 1 or 2 months of trying to find a physical cause for the hives, her Doctor said, on her next visit, that she wasn’t leaving his office until they found out what was bothering her. He said that it didn’t necessarily have to be something that happened recently, it could be something from the past also.

Again they went through all of the possibilities for allergies and other physical causes, all to no avail. Helen said that she could not think of anything that was bothering her unless it had something to do with the fact that a year and a half ago her Mother --- she never got to finish the sentence. She broke down and cried for about 10 minutes. She apologized profusely for her behavior, telling the Doctor how she was sorry to waste his time while a room full of patients waited for his help.

Fortunately for Helen, she had one of the finest Doctors a person could ever hope to have. Never mind that he was not a psychiatrist, he had just performed a psychic miracle. He told her not to worry about his other patients; she was more important than any one else at that moment. He also told her to go ahead and cry until she released all of the built-up inner tension. Within two weeks the hives had disappeared.

Helen’s physical problem was psychic in nature. How could a pill, prescribed by a psychiatrist, or anyone else, --- solve this problem? Only by using the “talking therapy” could this problem be solved directly. What if a Doctor had given her a pill for her nerves and seen her for 10 minutes once every 3 months? The odds of him helping to unearth the real cause of the hives would, in all probability approach almost zero.

[Mrsderby]

Just curious


I am laying down relaxing and my heart rate is 148. Is that ok?

[Mrsderby]

(((st8arrow)))

I know you are trying to help. I have spent the last 25 years seeing psych dr's and therapists. It hasn't worked. Yes, I had a horrible childhood. Everything that could be done to a child was done to me. Follow that with 2 really bad husbands...

However, I have had a fabulous husband for 7 years now and just now these problems are beginning to happen. If it is from my mind, why wait until life is good??? I wish I had a Dr like the one in your story. I don't.

I can tell you that things are improving slightly. Thanks to a naseu med I am now able to eat. That has taken care of the weakness and passing out. Now on Depakote for the migraines and they are slowing down. Things are still far from good but I can function now. I still have a list of problems and their respective Dr's as long as my arm though. Wish I could find a Dr to look at everything and see if it could all be related. I do not believe in coincidence and too much has happened all at once.

Anyway, as I said, things are slightly better and I will hold onto that. Hope all is well with you.

[St8arrow]

New post (From Mrsderby)

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:25 pm Post subject:

Just curious


I am laying down relaxing and my heart rate is 148. Is that ok?

_________________________________

Hello MrsDerby

I am not the brightest or sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to computer technology. I didn't see your above responses until now, which is Friday afternoon at 218 pm eastern time here where I live.

In reference to your question above, my answer would be --- no --- that is too high. But then again, it might be just your body trying to fight off the effects of all those drugs that you have been prescribed over the years. If it continues to be so high, you should mention it to an appropriate doctor. Like your family doctor.

_____________________________

I have had a pacemaker since 2003. At that time they said that my heart rate went down to 20 beats per minute for a few seconds. My normal heart rate is about 56. The first night that I spent in the hospital was in the intensive care or emergency area. This other guy had been drinking too much and he was complaining about a catheter that they had to use to allow him to urinate.

He kept complaining all the time about "this damn thing." Finally he said: --- Is anybody home around here? And a nurse said no, all of us are here trying to look after you. I laughed so hard that the nurse finally came over and said they were having enough trouble with the drunk without me laughing all the time. I think the laughter helped reduce my stress. But of course I never realized that at the time.

[Mrsderby]

Funny story. Reminds me of when I had my root canal and they had to keep stopping because I was making jokes and laughing so hard.

My heart rate has been between 120 and 150 for 2 months now. All Dr's know and don't address it.

You know what? In my selfishness, I have never asked how you are doing. You seem like a well adjusted person. What are you doing on a depression site??? Do you need to talk?

[St8arrow]

(((st8arrow)))

I know you are trying to help. I have spent the last 25 years seeing psych dr's and therapists. It hasn't worked. Yes, I had a horrible childhood. Everything that could be done to a child was done to me. Follow that with 2 really bad husbands...

______________________________

St8arrow

That would leave you with a lot of problems that obviously have not been properly addressed so far. I hope that your Cognitive Behavioral Therapist can help you in this area of your childhood where other Doctors have failed so far. I can tell you one thing for sure; if a Doctor thinks that Sigmund Freud's ideas represent cutting edge psychology, say good-bye as fast as you can. If you read my book, you'll find a chapter or two devoted to that subject. One more thing, I hope that you have not had to endure Electro Convulsive Therapy.

_____________________________________

Mrsderby

However, I have had a fabulous husband for 7 years now and just now these problems are beginning to happen. If it is from my mind, why wait until life is good??? I wish I had a Dr like the one in your story. I don't.

___________________

St8arrow

You might just be suffering from the fear of success. This occurs when your distorted fears make you believe that something terrible is about to happen which will ruin everything for you. Sometimes if you fear something on an exaggerated level you help make your fears come true. This is not to say that it is all mental. But it can mean that your mental behavior can cause physical things to go wrong with you. The good news is that I sincerely believe that it is all negotiable.

________________________

Mrsderby

I can tell you that things are improving slightly. Thanks to a nausea med I am now able to eat. That has taken care of the weakness and passing out. Now on Depakote for the migraines and they are slowing down. Things are still far from good but I can function now. I still have a list of problems and their respective Dr's as long as my arm (my unasked for editing) (hand) though.

_____________________________

St8arrow

Sorry but I am addicted to a feeble attempt at humor. Long ago I read a book about Harry Truman. He was talking about the problem he was having with economists. He said every economist he talked to would use the expression --- "This" will probably happen, but on the other hand etc. etc.

Truman said: I' m looking for an economist with one hand.

_______________________________

Mrsderby

Wish I could find a Dr to look at everything and see if it could all be related. I do not believe in coincidence and too much has happened all at once. Anyway, as I said, things are slightly better and I will hold onto that. Hope all is well with you.

____________________________

St8arrow

You are right to look for such a Doctor, but then again, it might mean that you have to find one specialist in each of the areas that are causing you trouble.

Yes, as far as I know, everything is well with me.

[Mrsderby]

Sooo.... If all is well with you, why are you on a depression website? Are you just an angel sent here to help? I think you may be because you have helped me immensly when no one else would listen.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you

[St8arrow]

You know what? In my selfishness, I have never asked how you are doing. You seem like a well adjusted person. What are you doing on a depression site??? Do you need to talk?

Good question. I guess the best answer is the truth, even though that will probably make me sound arrogant or a proverbial know-it-all.

I came in here to try to help others. I have spent the last 30 years or more studying psychology and yes, as I said in the front of my book in the --- About The Author--- section, I had extremely low self-esteem as a youngster which to a lesser extent has shadowed me most of my life.

Contrary to what you might think, I was extremely shy and withdrawn. I hardly could put two words together. Now my wife tells me to shut up. One night we were lying in bed and I was chatting on and on. She didn't seem to be responding so I said. "What would you like me to do at this very moment?" She said, --- "BE QUIET."

I think I'll apply that advice right now.

[St8arrow]

Sooo.... If all is well with you, why are you on a depression website? Are you just an angel sent here to help? I think you may be because you have helped me immensly when no one else would listen.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you

For God's sake Mrsderby be careful. The way your talking, I might just break my arm patting myself on the back.

[St8arrow]

Funny story. Reminds me of when I had my root canal and they had to keep stopping because I was making jokes and laughing so hard.

____________________________

Good for you. I like your style.

___________________________

My heart rate has been between 120 and 150 for 2 months now. All Dr's know and don't address it.

___________________________

You address it with them!!

[St8arrow]

From one of my previous posts:

I am not the brightest or sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to computer technology. I didn't see your above responses until now, which is Friday afternoon at 218 pm eastern time here where I live.

_______________________________

Thanks for ignoring this comment from me. Apparently I don't even know what day it is. Why the heaven I thought today was Friday is one of those mysteries that are beyond my ability to comprehend.

[St8arrow]

After leaving the computer at the library where I was in contact with you yesterday, I had a chance to mull over the above submission and I now believe that I know why I made such a dumb mistake.

I am entering this submission for my own benefit, but also because I believe that your command of the language and your intellect will allow you to think of corresponding situations in your life also.

I do not understand computer technology as well as I should. Sometimes I find myself wondering where one of my messages went. Usually it boils down to a dumb mistake I made or some part of computer technology that I simply do not understand well enough.

The above thoughts entered my mind when I mistakenly concluded that it was Friday instead of Wednesday. This can be attributed to a distorted fear on my part concerning my ability to use the computer properly.

Compounding the issue, or in reality, adding a second fear, is the desire on my part to answer your questions as soon as possible so that you will not think that I am ignoring you. (One or more distorted fears making ones actual fear more possible.)

It is these two fears, and maybe others that I cannot explain at this moment, that had me mix up what day it actually was. I hope that I have explained this situation clear enough for you to understand what I am trying to communicate to you.

If not, let me say it this way. Some of your behavior, that you do not understand, is predicated on a conglomeration of distorted fears inside your mind. If we can determine what those fears are and overcome them, then you will have more and more of the “pleasant” days that you seem to be having lately.

Remember of course that some distorted fears that are not resolved, eventually bring about a physical change in ones body. Our bodies are very, very resilient and the potential for almost complete, or even totally complete, recovery is always present.

Each time you gain new knowledge, which results in new confidence, you try to understand even more, which is eminently good; however, you will have days where everything seems to be hopeless again. You have already learned how to deal with this type of mental awareness in the past. I hope in the future you will continue to draw on those mental reserves and in my conceit, I am hoping that your arsenal of defenses is even greater than it was in the past.

Damn it, or Golly Gee, there I go again, talking (or more correctly), writing a blue steak. I hope I haven't given you another headache.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

St8arrow

But the difference between what I know and what the Doctors having been telling you might just save your life. After all, you have been mostly following their advice for some thirty years or more and all they have done so far is to leave you in a state of mental anguish that has you almost hoping that your life comes to an end.

This is a support forum. Yes, you have book knowledge, but the training doctors go through is much greater. The claim that you made in your statement isn't solid, you do not know this for a fact. If there is an issue with a physician, then talk with the physician.

Please do keep this in mind when giving support. We do not claim to be professionals, we do not give professional advice. The best advice is to talk with the doctor(s).

Thank you.

Warmsoul

[St8arrow]

From Mrsderby's post on Wed. Apr. 18/2012 7.16 Pm.

"You know what? In my selfishness, I never asked how you are doing?

___________________________________

Myself

Those last 7 words above, brought this next ridiculous story to my mind. My 48 year old daughter sent this to me in an email.

_____________________________

A really bad day

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man . . . and then my dog bit me."

"So . . . I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!.... But, hell, enough about me, --- how are you doing?"

[Mrsderby]

st8arrow

ok. enough is enough...

Forgive me but, even though you have tried so hard to help me I just have to ask...

Why is it that all you psychological people are so thouraly convinced that a person with psychological problems is not capable of having physical problems. I am soooo tired of everyone thinking that. Yes, I have bipolar. But I also have several diagnosed physical problems. And no, I do not believe that "positive thinking" will fix GERD, or COPD, or Asthma, or Arthritis, or Fybromyalgia, or spinal damage... I do know that being calm and thinking as positive as possible can make the migraines easier to deal with even though it does not stop the pain or return the use of my left side. I also know that the medications to "fix" the bipolar" are making me sick. Positive thinking will not help that either.

What came first, the depression or the illnesses? Well, I was fine emotionally until I got sick in January. Live one day in my body and you will get depressed too.

Just had to get that off my chest.