the edge of darkness

[ButterflyKisses]

I sit and wait, for the darkness to envelope me. I am saddened beyond belief. I actually welcome the darkness. I want it to wash over me, and take me to the place that I have come so familiar with. My inner demons are screeching and howling as they rise up from my soul. They call my name in a language I do not know, but yet recognize. I feel my heart icing over. My feelings becoming numb. Shutting everyone out. I know not time or space. I live to just exist. My children keep me here, if it wasn't for them....I feel the darkness would be my permanent home. So, I walk through my day to day life as a zombie taken over by the sanctum of misery. I see the last glimmer of light at the end of my long tunnel, but I've chosen to turn and walk the other way. The light is full of unknown pain, the darkness is pain, but the kind I have grown accustomed too. I know what is going to happen, and where it will lead. This cycle triggered by events I know will come to an end....but when and for how long this time?

[COACH]

That darkness becomes a very familiar place butterfly. It is almost a comfort because you know exactly what to expect, it becomes comfortable. you know you dont like it and it is painful, but you almost welcome it because its what you know. and its sometimes easier to give in to the darkness, let it take you away, into the underworld, where nothing exists except blahness. I hope you find your way out soon. keep following the light, Im there with you trying to find the way.

COACH

[ButterflyKisses]

I'm glad, and sorry at the same time that you know what I'm going through. I know we will find our way out.....someday????

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Butterfly, take my hand, one of friend. At the of that tunnel I hope you see the light of the candle I am holding.

Have a shoulder anytime you need, please remember.

Warmie

[ButterflyKisses]

((((jeanie)))) thank you for being there....still just a tough time in my life right now....but thanks for caring.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((Butterfly))))))))))))))))) and I do....

Warmie