My thoughts on depression and it's sufferers

[SilentWaters]

Ok, so I've been thinking. A lot. I tend to do that. A lot. And here is the result:

No one is safe from it. Be you white, black, pink or blue. Young or old. Fat or thin. Male or female. Gay or straight. Super rich or dirt poor.... It doesn't care. We're all potential targets and we may express it differently but it hurts us all in a way no physical torture can ever compare too.

We are different. Yes. But we are the same.

We fight this parasite, all of us. We here are all probably tempted at one point or another to just give up. But we here, and all over, we are the brave and battered souls who DO NOT give up. Perhaps because deep down we still believe in a "happily ever after" where it doesn't hurt to be alive anymore.

[Frame]

Awk

[Ieris]

That's the problem right there! "happily ever after". I don't understand why people expect this in life, watching too many fairy tales perhaps.

Happiness is not something you can buy, earn or keep in your pocket. It is simply an emotion. One day you wake up feeling blue, another day you feel energetic, another day you feel positive, tired, depressed, love etc etc.

It isn't always blue skies and butterflies outside and you can't change that, so it's not wise to expect the *ding ding ding* jackpot feeling of being happy everyday either.

Your heart is a good compass to show you which way to go to bring you thise happy feelings. Follow that and you can't go wrong. Mind you, if you can't get the girl, not liking your job or whatever and it is making you sad then you are going in the wrong direction, people often suffer because that aren't willing to let go and reluctant to turn around x

[SilentWaters]

Yes that's all true. Of course the fairy tale happily ever after is impossible.

But consider this. It may well be that fighting for a "happily ever after" is what keeps us alive. What keeps us from giving up is the vague notion that it is POSSIBLE to be happy. Fighting for it hurts but giving up means death.

And in time, along the way, we each (hopefully) discover our own version of "happily ever after"

Naturally I'm not hoping for Prince Charming and his dazzling white steed. I'm not hoping to become a princess who gets nice clothes and jewels and who will never ever have to scrub floors or mend dresses again. I'm not hoping for a world where everyone in the world just loves me. THAT'S a child's fantasy .


Anyway, these are all my own mental discussions, me trying to puzzle out my existence and my pain. When I'm hurting so much I can barely breathe I hold on to the belief that if I keep fighting, if I keep believing, I WIL get my "happily ever after" whatever form it may take. I have to believe it wont always hurt to be alive or else I will go mad

[SilentWaters]

'sides I wasn't discussing "happily ever after" at all...

I was just pointing out that all our many differences as people mean nothing in the face of depression. We are one

[Frame]

But...but...wait....
Look, Silent, do you buy into my premises that:

A) Depression is normal reaction, in all living things, to stress?

B) Chronic stress creates chronic depression; which creates it's own set of changes and challenges?

C) Depression is not likely to go away without changes in the underlying stressors?

D) Those stressors, while they make be grouped under similar catagories, are different for each individual?

I ask because you sound like you not only think about these things, but also come up with eloquent answers. And while the tools and process for discovering solutions of depression may be universal, the paths they take each of us along are different. Wouldn't you agree?

[SilentWaters]

I absolutely agree with you. (It doesn't quite cover the cases where depression is caused by chemical imbalance in the brain and such, but I definitely agree with you otherwise)

For myself it does holds true, although the problem with me is that there is very little in the world that I do not react to as a "stressor". It has taken an impossible amount of time to realize that this is where my problem lies. This is my field of pain I have to march through (well it would be marching if marching looked more like crawling ). Like you say, we all have our different paths to travel.

That aside, I do not have the words to explain what my original point was, so I'm just letting it go as one of those wild abstract creatures that live in my head that others just can't connect with.

[Frame]

I'm glad your posting, Silent. I hope and pray for your success at college, and I also hope you take some time to reach out to people you won't be seeing for a while (as always, do as I say not as I do). It will make coming back that much easier.

[xken728]

Hello silent ,
Ive had forty seven years to think about my depression ,it is severe ,not many highs ,
A deeply black existance ,were my mind makes all i have good in life ,look bleak .
But in reallity i have much to be happy about ,A wonderful Wife and two grown up daughters who have done very well for themselves.
But this illness will never leave me so i have evolved in some way ,so i can continue this life and live side by side with the very thing that shares my mind ,Depression my dark sentinel ,I call it the Visitor !
Like myself you think a lot about it ,and you write how you feel ,
Others sometimes find what i write hard to understand but we all suffer differently ,some of us suffer low mood ,some suffer moderate depression ,and some like myself suffer something so powerful and dibilitating that its beyond explanation ,
My official diagnosis is medication resistant ,
You must keep writing how you feel ,maybe like myself you have made many journeys in your mind looking for an answer to how you feel ,
Look with your mind and not your eyes ,and sometimes things become a little clearer,So dont forget you share your mind with this thing we call depression ,it knows how your feeling and it knows what your thinking ,
Tell it how much you hate it ,show it your not afraid ,curse it ,and most of all keep going and keep writing how you feel ,best wishes XN728