Depression Understood Forums

since about last September i've been really miserable. it wasnt as bad then, but now for the past couple months its gradually getting worse. im extremely moody all the time.

im always annoyed, mad, sad, etc. i get mad/annoyed at really stupid things, and i never want to do anything. i just sit home a lot. i hate going out because i hate being around people because i'm worried about what they think of me. i have never worried about that.

sometimes i feel like there's no point in life. and i have contemplated suicide.

right now im really irritated with everyone and everything. im being such a jerk to everybody. it's gradually getting worse. every day im getting more and more depressed/mad/annoyed. it just keeps building up.

i hate myself. i mean on the outside. sometimes i think i'm a good person on the inside and i like myself, but usually i just hate myself completely.

a lot of the time, i think that if i was skinnier than i am (i do need to lose weight, i can't because all i do is sit around and eat, but i am 5'3 and weigh 175lbs. i'm also 17.) that i wouldn't be depressed anymore. that id go out and do things and be happy and be myself again.

i have never in my life been like this. i was always a sweetheart, always happy, always full of life, never worried about negative things, thought positively all the time, didn't care what anyone thought of me, stayed true to myself. loved myself. i just want my old self back.

what should i do? it's been like this since i was 16. i feel so hopeless and i just want out.

think of it like a tea cup. Once it's full, even just a few drops will make it overflow. Emotions are like that too. And burying them doesn't do anything more than make them pop right back up again filling up your cup all over again. Find a way to deal with the emotions. That's the only way to overcome this. Deal with the emotions and release them in a healthy way. For anger, I go for a walk... on this walk, I will stop and hit the leaves on a tree. Not the tree, just the leaves. Before i even realise it, i'm laughing at how silly a thing it is.

There is actually some good news about what you said and it's that you are acknowledging that something is going on some place.

That's a good bit of the battle. Here's what I will say to you, as it is something that has helped me:

If there is something that you need to do, do it.


Okay.... For example, if you don't like your weight, it's time to start exercising, etc.

As far as I know, there is no easy way out, just like that.


Something my folks used to say when I was growing up was that perhaps what you are going through is a phase or "hormones".

If you can go to a general doctor to get a check-up, I think that is what I would do, if I were in your situation (e.g. blood tests, etc.).

Since you are dealing with S tendencies, then perhaps it might be a good idea to have a psychologist that you can call--even if it is just a list of phone # or something. If not a psychologist, then a friend or someone you trust.

It will take some work--as does just about everything in life. Do not be dismayed.

send out warm hugs guys