Sinking

[Mich]

Anxiety and depression threaten to consume me. It is hard to keep going in a life smothered by depression. My psychiatrist is away on a lengthy vacation and I am isolated and alone with no one to talk to. I cannot burden my husband with my depressing thoughts. It has gone on for so long that it does not seem possible that there is a cure for me. I know that all this self absorbed focus is not helping me but I feel paralyzed to take any other action. The smallest things send me into fits of extreme anxiety that I am unable to cope with. This is no life and it is beyond my capability to make it any different.

[shatteredhopes]

(((((((((((Mich))))))))))))) big hugs for you sister. I had felt that way too, that there is no healing for me...but you know as I have told you before I had approximately 2 years of happiness for the first time in my life at about age 40-42. Although a series of tragedies stole that joy, I now know it is possible and believe it is for you too. For me it was a combination of things that brought me happiness....not just therapy and meds which ultimately didn't do much for me. Maybe its time to try something new?

I so wish you would join group therapy and pick up the "courage to heal." What you lived through growing up was so traumatic, but I somehow fear the shame you feel is blocking you from feeling you deserve healing...and you do, you are such a loving kind special soul...can you google and see if there's a 12 step program to deal with the anorexia and other self-harm actions? I have told you before, the 12 steps helped me more than the mental health profession or religion ever did. Could you maybe take a class or pick up a book on meditation or yoga or something that would help with relaxation and maybe the anxiety a bit? Maybe just try a few different things other than what you have been doing?

YOU DESERVE HEALING. YOU DO. You are a wonderful friend and sister to me and others here and wish nothing more for you than some relief. If you feel like talking maybe venture into the chatroom again? Sorry your therapist in away...maybe try writing things down then burning them if you are worried about someone finding them or saving them til your therapist is back?

((((((((((((Mich)))))))))))) I know what its like to be in so much pain that you cannot do the things you know might help...that catch 22 of depression...but please try to hang on. I love you and want to see you have some genuine relief.

[Mich]

Thank you ((((shatteredhopes)))).
I met with two crisis workers last week who gave me the phone number to call for the depression support group. Now I don't have the excuse that I don't know where to call! Maybe today I will gather up my courage and call.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((( Mich )))))))))))))))

We will be with you in our thoughts, know it isn't the same, but offering just the same.

Takes a lot to make those calls, but doing what is best for you is so important.

Keep us posted, please.

Love, thoughts and hugs to you

Warmie

[Obayan]

Hi. You've made a huge step in getting some help. I hope you continue to do so. We are here and we will try to help as best we can. Wishing you only the best.

[keluca]

I totally understand how you feel and I think you are very brave asking for the help and that is a huge step.

Please do use the numbers that you have been given, it is hard the first time you use them but they can help.

I know it sounds silly but when you start getting anxious (at home) have a bottle of children's bubbles at hand and blow bubbles, this helps regulate your breathing and helps your mind focus on this and reduce the anxiety.

[Obayan]

Oh! what a wonderful idea! blow bubbles and chase them around the room! feel like a kid again!

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooo bubbles!!!

Not for just the young, but young at heart people too. Think that is us, don't you? Loving it!

Warmie