How's my day going? (Trigger for unnecessary whinging.)
Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 11:57 am
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:02 am
I'm so caught in my own, self-imposed lethargy trap. This day, like the weeks, like the months and years before, is slipping by in this stale environment of mine. I can't seem to find the energy to do a single thing, apart from write this nonsense. What's the point?
I'm just going out of my mind with negativity (but truly it seems like reality, not mere negativity). Even if I were to try to do something, I feel assured that I will fail... past history seems to suggest this to my very core.
So here I sit, looking out at the freezing and gloomy weather, waiting it seems. But for what am I waiting? I know that only I can make changes to my life. And that seems something I'm highly incapable of doing.
Oh well, enough. Enough!
"The all singing, the all dancing," Stephen.
A song to describe how I feel:
Gene "Drawn to the deep end."
//you can feel every pulse of your blood
reminding you the days slip on by
as they should
but nothing has been done
you rarely see the sun.//
//a house barely clean, never could
bring yourself to rise for a life
fantasize
of diving in the deep end
the water offers changes.//
//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//
//long to live? tell me why should i leave
the comfort of my room with its dirt
inches deep
so why do people bother
i have nothing to offer.//
//everyone has a place, i know mine
in bed where i was born, where i'll live
where i'll die
the longing is long gone
i'm boredom's latest son.//
//do you cry for a life ever spring
where winter is a fading and dim memory?
go take what you have not
and leave me here to rot.//
//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//
I'm so caught in my own, self-imposed lethargy trap. This day, like the weeks, like the months and years before, is slipping by in this stale environment of mine. I can't seem to find the energy to do a single thing, apart from write this nonsense. What's the point?
I'm just going out of my mind with negativity (but truly it seems like reality, not mere negativity). Even if I were to try to do something, I feel assured that I will fail... past history seems to suggest this to my very core.
So here I sit, looking out at the freezing and gloomy weather, waiting it seems. But for what am I waiting? I know that only I can make changes to my life. And that seems something I'm highly incapable of doing.
Oh well, enough. Enough!
"The all singing, the all dancing," Stephen.
A song to describe how I feel:
Gene "Drawn to the deep end."
//you can feel every pulse of your blood
reminding you the days slip on by
as they should
but nothing has been done
you rarely see the sun.//
//a house barely clean, never could
bring yourself to rise for a life
fantasize
of diving in the deep end
the water offers changes.//
//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//
//long to live? tell me why should i leave
the comfort of my room with its dirt
inches deep
so why do people bother
i have nothing to offer.//
//everyone has a place, i know mine
in bed where i was born, where i'll live
where i'll die
the longing is long gone
i'm boredom's latest son.//
//do you cry for a life ever spring
where winter is a fading and dim memory?
go take what you have not
and leave me here to rot.//
//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//
