Depression Understood Forums

I am dealing with 2 rejections at the moment:
(1) A woman that I used to have coffee with every 6 weeks or so and the closest thing I had to an actual friend has cut me loose. She is the only contact I had outside the home.
(2) My daughter, who will never be seen at the mall with me, is actually going with her friend's mother twice this week. And she is going to shop for her graduation dress with that other mother. For the past several months I have been asking her if she wanted to go dress shopping and my invitation was always denied. Now she is excited to go with someone else. In the past, I even offered to take her friend with us and still got "no" for an answer.
It hurts me that my daughter wants to do this mother-daughter event with someone else. My role will be to fork over the money.
When things like this happen, I am sure I take it more deeply to heart than most people would and it severely affects my depression. My reaction is to hurt myself by not eating and by chewing the inside of my cheeks and lips which are quite destroyed by my biting away at them.
I should tell my daughter that I was really looking forward to dress shopping with her. I should stop my self harm and I should stop berating myself for being so awful-looking that my daughter does not want to be seen with me.....but I can't.

I know how you feel Mich... Mine is different but still similar.... & yep, I do feel rejected. ((((((((((((( for us both )))))))))))))))))))))

dearest mich, try not to blame yourself for these rejections. It may be that the woman you used to meet up with has got a lot going on in her own life at the moment or she feels inept as to what to say and how to be with someone suffering depression,i have found many,many people are.

as for your daughter,it is a cruel fact of life that most teenage girls go through a phase of seeming embarrassed by their mothers and wanting to separate from them and not do things with them. I admit I was guilty of that and it probably hurt my mum's feelings but it was not personal,just me being a stroppy teenager and wanting to be 'cool' and i'm sure that's all that's going on with your daughter too

I know how painfully we feel these hurts when we are depressed but try not to let these worries drag you further down. maybe have a direct word with your friend and your daughter if it continues to distress you

I love you lots and wish you could see yourself as beautifully as I see you!

Lisa xxxxxxx

(((((((((Mich))))))))) Sorry to hear that you feel rejected. As been stated previously it could be just you friend has a lot on her plate. Secondly as far as your daughter most kids go through that stage. Please don't think its because something is wrong with you. Maybe suggest that both you and the other mom can take them both shopping for it? So that you both are included on this special event. And honestly Mich, you sound like a good mom. Some parents try to be more friends with their kids than a parent. Take this if you can, as you are doing something right. By being a parent. The other girl may have a mom that your daughter might want to be seen with. But chances are the other girl is wishing she had a mom like you. My mom was always more of a friend than a mom to me. Or more of a daughter to me than I was to her. My friends used to be jealous of that. But secretly inside I wanted what they had. Parents that care. And you do care. ((((((((((((Mich)))))))))). Your daughter is lucky and one day will realize that.

Holly

lisalou wrote:dearest mich, try not to blame yourself for these rejections. It may be that the woman you used to meet up with has got a lot going on in her own life at the moment or she feels inept as to what to say and how to be with someone suffering depression,i have found many,many people are.

as for your daughter,it is a cruel fact of life that most teenage girls go through a phase of seeming embarrassed by their mothers and wanting to separate from them and not do things with them. I admit I was guilty of that and it probably hurt my mum's feelings but it was not personal,just me being a stroppy teenager and wanting to be 'cool' and i'm sure that's all that's going on with your daughter too

I know how painfully we feel these hurts when we are depressed but try not to let these worries drag you further down. maybe have a direct word with your friend and your daughter if it continues to distress you

I love you lots and wish you could see yourself as beautifully as I see you!

Lisa xxxxxxx

Well, It is the time when teenagers are in stage where they just feel very embarrassed of do many thing and mainly if parents are forcing them do whatever they are saying. for a mother it feels very rejected no doubt but, it is only in your hand to handle this situation by being friendly with her on everything so that she will feel comfortable and will not go out with anyone, like it is actually due to generation gap so try to ease and remove that gap so that there will not be any problem in mother and daughter relation ship.

Dont get stress, try to find out a solution and it can be done by talking with your close ones about this problem or with any doctor of what you can do for this.

Thanks