Depression Understood Forums

today has been utterly miserable. i'm so upset right now that i can't really even describe it. my life is so messed up right now, i feel like all i do pity myself. i don't like myself, i don't like anything about me. i don't think people like me. i don't know how to socialize with people; i feel like there's a boundary between myself and others, and i think i willingly put it there. i don't even know what i'm trying to say...i just go day to day hoping for something miraculous to happen that just changes everything. but i've been hoping for that for a long time, and every time i think it's happened, i get hurt. i feel like my life is just a series of missed opportunities and wrong choices. and it's just so depressing, and i am at a point in my life where i feel like i should be more motivated, more willing to grow up. but i'm not. i'm graduating college in a couple months, and i'm literally scared out of my mind. i have no friends to rely on. i don't have anyone who i've shared college experiences with. i regret so much about the last few years that it hurts; i think back and i see what i should have done, who i could've been, where i could be right now. and instead, i'm stuck, miserable, lonely, and just generally confused and lost. and i think i'm slowly starting to accept that i will always be alone.

anyways, that's just some of the stuff going through my mind right now. hope you all are having a better day than me.

I have a few suggestions for you, as you don't always have to be alone and there are ways you can connect with people. First consider volunteering...some opportunities are better than others for socializing and meeting people and networking and you will be doing something good to boot that may help your self-esteem. It is sooooo much easier to socialize and meet people around a common interest or activity. Consider joining your political party and becoming active (have met many friends this way and even been offered jobs!), maybe even volunteering for a candidate you like. Consider joining a hobby group or house of worship and becoming active.

Second, I have made friends online just by posting and offering support to others and visiting the chatroom. Even though I don't even know some of them's real names nor what they look like, I am closer to them than many of the people in my "real life."

I personally have trust issues and keep people at arms length and am not socializing much at all and keeping to myself quite a bit, which is maybe not healthy, but the best I can do right now and is giving me time to reflect and redirect my life and hopefully heal a bit from what I have been through. Its okay to make the most of your time alone, and do things by yourself, like go to a restaurant or coffee shop and just sit and read or people watch.

Make an effort to be more social and outgoing to ease you back into being with people; for instance, I try to smile at people in the grocery store and when getting gas, say hello to people you pass by or chat a little while waiting in a line. This can help you get over social anxiety, awkward at first, but once you get going it can become second nature, and will help you be more at ease in making friends, and at least not feeling so alone. Helps me anyway.

You are just finishing college, why not make the most of the little time you have left by joining an on-campus club or activity? May help with networking too as you prepare to enter the job market, or if headed to grad school, something you can build on....join a study group perhaps? A job seekers group? Or start something you are interested in...

You can turn things around. School can be a trying time and the rest of your life can be better!

I feel the very same way.

i try so hard to be happy. but it's like there's an automatic switch that goes off when i do get happy, and it says, "NOPE, you can't be happy!" I am so sad, ALL the time, I don't know what it feels like to be happy anymore. what's the point anymore? i have no motivation to do anything. i hate myself, i like nothing about myself.

We are in the same boat Jonathan.

jonathan wrote:i try so hard to be happy. but it's like there's an automatic switch that goes off when i do get happy, and it says, "NOPE, you can't be happy!" I am so sad, ALL the time, I don't know what it feels like to be happy anymore. what's the point anymore? i have no motivation to do anything. i hate myself, i like nothing about myself.

Hey dear, we dont have any kind of switch it is our mental state that control our state of mind and it id like sometimes, when the things go wrong negativities come very fast and empowers our mind and though we tried very hard to stay happy but negativity ruins your head so it is very important for you to be stable and relax your mind from all such things and dont get demotivated, just believe your self and be confident everything will going to be fine just stay happy and be calm.

Thanks