Depression Understood Forums

There seems to be no inbetween. I hate confrontations and do my best to just keep my mouth shut but it is hard because I am so frustrated about everything at this point. So I either do absolutely nothing all day and ignore my surroundings or I want to do something (but usually ends up being housework) but then realize I am being a maid for others and cleaning their damn mess which leads to verbal blow-ups later on. It's a viscious circle to me. So I guess I set myself up to be disappointed one way or the other. Any time I post here it is hard because my thoughts don't come in any particular order and if I had a wish it would be the ability to define my feelings. Without that I can't begin to fix them. What good would a therapist do if I can't explain anything? I can't find one anyway where I live that will take me because I have no job. Hey, this is the beginning of another endless circle. In order to get help you have to pay, in order to pay you have to have a job, you have to be healthy enough to hold that job and to be healthy you need to see a doctor. HAHA. It leaves me no choice but to be numb and withdraw or strike out at anything, which I barely have the strength for. That's what this day has consisted of...a circle of circles that goes nowhere at this moment. My nature is analyzing and wanting answers and that just adds to things. Well, this was my day and I don't post often because I see it as complaining. I'd much rather try to listen to my friends here. I hate being negative about anything but when it comes to me I am a realist. There are and will always be good and bad, this is just bad right now.

Take Care My Friends,
Misty

I can see that we are alike ((((misty))))my dear freind we live our lives in simaler ways ,,i dont think your complaining at all ,,your just venting because you feel trapped and there no were else to let it go ,,,i always
say im sick of putting my filth down here ,,but you pointed out that what i
have to say is important to my freinds ,,so im here listening to you vent now my dear freind ,,and i hope you know that i always look for your posts ,,and while i was that down at the weekend i missed this ,,but look see i
took the trouble to look ,because i care how you are ,,its terrible that everything comes down to money ,,you should have some help ,,im sorry
it makes me feel helpless that i cant give anything other than words ,,my
dear freind just know i care and always think of you ,,and you know i hope that im here for you ,,,,see you soon hugs ken (((((misty))))) xxx

Don't worry about how your thoughts come to you! Just put them down & get them out!

You're all right!

hope your ok misty ,,,i know your probably on the chat ,,but i dont go there now ,,stay safe my freind ,,,tc hugs ken xxxxxxlove (((((misty))))
always thinking of you