I can't express what I feel to the closest to me

[Misty]

Everything went smooth through xmas but that may have just been a cover on part of my husband. I found some bills that were paid just in time and it's partly my fault because I lost my job a year ago. His brother and mother also live here and paying but I never new how much. Well today I found out! He's been dealing with my depression and getting less and less patient with me. What he failed to tell me is what his family is paying to help and it's put him in a position where I think he's starting to resent me due to the fact I don't and can't work. Thing with me is his f'n family doesn't seem to care. They see it happening and just sweep it under the rug..they don't want to get involved. So basically I feel like shit and where as I used to handle the household I am useless now. God I don't know what to do. I promised myself this coming year would be better no matter what. I can't hurt him or burden him further but I feel like I'm dying inside. It's hard to express to him how this effects me and I hesistate if I say anything at all. So I came here to get it out somewhat and keep the promise to myself that it's ME i need to fix and work on the rest later. But it is hard and I know that is to be expected. This just helps a bit to get it out. Thanks to all my friend here for the support.

[xn728]

hey misty enjoyed our breif chat last night im sorry to hear you feel like this just know maybe hes having a hard time coping and is just trying to sheild you ,,i do that with my family and sometimes i cant do good for doing bad ,,stay strong my dear freind you know were we are ,hope we can chat again soon ,,we all have the same road to travel ,here let me walk with you a while ,and while we make this journey ill chat to you and it
may not seem so bad ,,,,,hugs ken xxx,,,hope to see you later ,stay safe

[dandelion]

((((((((((((((((( Misty ))))))))))))))))))))

I wish i knew what to say to you, but please know that i am thinking of you and im glad and so grateful that i have you as a friend. Always love you Misty

hugs
dandelion

[Mich]

If we all support each other maybe we truly can make 2010 a better year. I really hope so.

[xn728]

how you doing my freind misty ,you ok ,the holidays will be over soon and well all be able to get back to normal ,,,keep in touch hugs kenxxx

[Monty]

Hi Misty,

I also have some difficulties with people making the statement "I know how you feel" to me because I strongly doubt that can be possible.

I wouldn't do that to you. I can say that I was very sick for a long time. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I figured that it was my job to take care of the house. That was the least I could do.

It got to the point that I was just too ill, to do even that. It wasn't enough to have my family come in, once in a while, and catch up with stuff. I had to ask our home care (in our health region) to come in and help.

For me that made me a total failure. I couldn't even do (what seemed to be) the simpliest of tasks. Like make a bed or doing laundry.

I was fortunate to get past that rough time in my life. Even though it happened many years ago, and I still refer to it. I get the same answer everytime from my kid's and their dad.
They know that I did my absolute best at the time. That I couldn't have tried any harder. I was overwhelmed by so many things in my life it was important to just keep on breathing.

I hope that you can cut yourself some slack. If those around you can't just keep in mind. You are a good person and you are doing the best you can. Ten years down the road just what are they going to remember.

Take care

[xn728]

just saying hi misty ,i do hope your feeling not to bad today ,,keep yourself safe my dear freind ,,,,,never feel alone ,,,hugs ken xxx