I'm Going Crazy

[Mich]

I'm going crazy here today. I feel so incredibly bad and I don't know what to do with myself. I tried going for a walk but that has brought no relief. I am crawling out of my skin. I want to call my psych and scream into the phone that I am dying here. I don't think he gets how much I am suffering; how much pain I am in; the dark and terrible thoughts I have. The pain is so bad but I cannot cry as a release. I fought hard and managed to have a shower and that has had no effect. I have no one to reach out to in real life. I don't know what to do anymore.

[lisalou]

I am going desperately crazy too mich,despite all my good advice i am not very good at following it,all i want to do is pace around and cry. i went to the doctorsand cried and raved and ranted and he said my medication doesnt seem to be working (no kidding) so he wants me to switch but to discuss that in another appointment next week when we'll have more time. i am supposedly going back to work on monday as i just simply can't afford not to but i don't know how on earth i'll cope when just leaving home today has brought on floods of tears,everything was unbearable,the big grey nothing is descending on me and it feels like my chest might tear open,i have been wandering round in the rain,crying in doorways,i cant bear it,the hurt is indescribable. i feel like i am just going to go round in these circles forever,for every bout of happiness i have - -deperession is just gonna bring me back down again and it seems to say welcome back old friend you are never getting out this time why ,dont you just do everyone a favour and die
i am sorry everyone for ranting and being selfish but i cant cope right now

[xn728]

hey ,hi mr know it all again here,write about these terrible thoughts ,lets have them out and compare notes ,both of you let some pain go .i could read nothing that would shock or upset me ,we all have the same pains but we wear it differently ,sometimes you have to let go of some of the vile things your poor tormented mind shows you ,i have lots to tell and will when the time is right ,both of you must be strong .and as for no real people to reach out to ,i know what you mean but just because were words on a screen dont lose track of the fact that we are real and we are all connected by this creeping bastard that sucks our feelings away
i can say no,more really but you have real freinds ,and thoasands of miles matter not for feelings have no boundries ,best wishes xn728