Depression Understood Forums

This is a question that I've been contemplating for a while now.

THe question is whether sexual frustraiton can lead into or contribute to depression.

Any toughts on this?

(Also if this question doesn't belong in this section, let me know)

Hey man

Its he other way around-Depressed people have no drive whatsoever and sex is usually the last thing on our minds!
Sexual frustration will just lead to severe irritability!

Stephen

well broken pen it all is based on the person wheather it bothers them or not... sorry no help on that one

I am experiencing the same thing, lack of drive along with my depression. It's a pretty frustrating combination. Any advice?

Some medications can alter sex drive. I know many antidepressents take the urge away, as does birth control for many women.

Anyone on medications that have a side effect of lowered sexual desire?

aim wrote:Some medications can alter sex drive. I know many antidepressents take the urge away, as does birth control for many women.

Anyone on medications that have a side effect of lowered sexual desire?

Seems to defeat the purpose of birth control doesn't it?

HI Broken Pen -

Yes. Sexual frustration can lead to terrible depression. I have the world's finest husband, completely loyal Northern Italian blood, blonde, blue-eyed, educated, intellegent, gifted beyond words in bed, and after 19 years of mind blowing sex, he was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. The treatment they put him on right away to save his life was an antiandrogen. Boiled down, it is a chemical castration. Removes all the testosterone from his body. His cancer has spread, so taking out his prostate won't help. And no testosterone, no sexual drive or ability. He was however, capable of mentally turning himself on, but found out that the biopsy caused some kind of scar or something that gives him pain with an erection. So even though he could mentally fight his way through it, he was defeated once again by this pain.

So in one week he went (at 54 years of age) from 8 screaming orgasms in five hours, to zero. I have always been totally faithful, simply because there was nothing missing and I felt it couldn't get any better, and now the prospect of the rest of my life being without that, is, yes, very depressing.
But there are still some procedures and such out there that we may try eventually.

My advice to you is, first of all get your prostate checked, and next sit down and write a list of what you like and want sexually from someone, doesn't matter if it's male or female or both, doesn't matter how kinky or off mainstream it is, because you probably aren't going to end up doing some of the things on your list, and then just fold it up and put it away somewhere it won't be found. Or if you have a good memory, read it through a couple of times and then dispose of it. You don't want it found. You are going to be putting everything you want on this list that turns you on.
What this does is sort out and prioritize in your mind what you want, and you will find - I need to make this point strongly; dispose of the list and then PUT IT OUT OF YOUR MIND - that as you go through your days, you will be moving into situations that may be good for your goal of finding a lover, and away from situations and people that defeat it. Subconsciously. A friend of mine told me about this and it is how I got the perfect husband. In my case I just started going out with men that looked possible and from the start - agreeing to a date - I would just go down the list until there was something that he or I could not overcome, and that would end that guy's trial and I'd move on to the next. It sounds cold; a trial, but that's what it is. And for me sex was very important, but there were a lot of other things that came before it, like friendship, so I wasn't going to bed with every one I went out with. Bad idea. Especially these days with AIDS.

My sympathy for your situation is deep. I hope this helps you. There IS someone out there for you, it's just a matter of going through enough people so it ups your chances of finding them.

Good luck.


Aurelia

LOL, Brokenpen... it sure does!!!

Auriela- so sorry about your husbnad! You're a very smart lady, obviously, and you definitely think things through. It's so good to have you here on these forums.

I have been on 4 different birth controls because my dr. and I thought they were contributing to my mental health-or lack there of at this point. In early October, I decided to call it quits on the pill all together to see if anything changed at all. After 6 months of the downward spiral of my happiness and drive, I decided to give Yaz a try. I've been on it for two weeks now-although it is quite expensive for a college student. I'm still waiting on any changes, but hoping for the best.

aim wrote:LOL, Brokenpen... it sure does!!!

Auriela- so sorry about your husbnad! You're a very smart lady, obviously, and you definitely think things through. It's so good to have you here on these forums.

I think I already put this up is that aside from a lot of other contributing factors - it's the fact that I cannot get any that the depression seems to grow worse.

And it's even worse when you see couples together and you think to yourself, "Someone is and it's not me."

Cas - good luck with Yaz. I was on that, but did not like it. I'm on Aleese right now, and it's working really well for me. AND - it comes in a less-expensive, generic form as well.

BrokenPen... have you tried internet dating sites? If you haven't please don't write it off, ok? I did them for a bit, and know many other people who did, and have had success. In fact, although I did not meet my current boyfriend on a dating site, I did meet him on the internet. It's the new way to meet people, BrokenPen. If you have not already, I urge you to give it a try.