Hard Situations

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BrokenPen
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:18 am

Hard Situations

Postby BrokenPen » Tue Oct 22, 2019 1:37 pm

It's difficult to figure out how to start this. And I know that a lot of this may make me sound ungrateful but I can't help but wonder if these situations are hurting me.

First of all, I want to preface all of this by saying that I have, at least I think I have, Asperger's Syndrome (or Autism Spectrum) and that does affect me in my job. I can't say what my job is but it does involve me dealing with customers a lot. And in dealing with them does grate of my mental health. Not to mention having demanding teammates. This is the part where I know I may sound ungrateful because a few years ago, I was struggling with depression due to the fact that I was poor and couldn't find work. So, I went and learned a trade and managed to become employed and that helped out a lot. But over time the gratefulness of being employed started to wear off and now I know I can't quit because I have debts and an apartment, plus I also have a girlfriend who goes through a lot herself. (some of you may know of my posts that I made about her). And I do try to help her through her rough times with depression and all that but I wonder if I'm failing her with how worn down I get when it comes to my own job.

A lot of it does stress me out, wear me down and I think also affects my mental health. But again, I know that I can't quit and I think I'm a little too old for a career change. Which is why it'd be nice if I could win a few bucks to sustain me while I do something different. Especially given my skills are more towards the field of creative writing.

Lil Welby
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:33 pm

Re: Hard Situations

Postby Lil Welby » Wed Oct 30, 2019 1:11 pm

Hey BrokenPen,

You don't come across as ungrateful to me, you are struggling with genuine problems and are only seeking to address them. People say that depression is a perception issue, and I find truth in this. I feel like my depression definitely effects how I view my reality. Beyond that though, it also changes how I think other people view reality. This is something we simply can't know unless someone else actually communicates it to us. We assume, we auto-complete. I kind of wanted to address that point because as a fellow human being I do not see you seeking help as being ungrateful, just the mere fact of you acknowledging that you FEEL ungrateful shows to me that you are in fact grateful.

There is a line in your message that stands out to me - “But over time the gratefulness of being employed started to wear off...”

Our brain is a muscle, as we learn and experience new things the size and shape of our synapses change, new neural connections are constantly being created, and old unused connections discarded. As these new connections are created our brains are releasing all kinds of hormones and neurotransmitters, that is what gives you the feeling of “gratefulness”. As time goes on though, your brain adjusts to your situation, the “gratefulness” you were receiving from your mind begins to decline, and you find yourself in a slump.

I don't know what the answer is, but I feel like taking action is the key to everything. If your skills and passion lean toward creative writing, then you should try and find ways to help that flourish.
We refuse to recognize that everything better is purchased at the price of something worse. -Carl Jung-


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