My friend thinks i'm faking depression

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CloudyMary
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:01 pm

My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby CloudyMary » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:41 pm

I've been depressed for some time and i take meds, go to my therapist, but i was scared to tell about it to my friends. For them depression is a topic for jokes. But after my mental health got better i decided to tell about it to my best friend. I said everything, even about suicidal thoughts and meds. And he... laughed. Responded that i shouldn't continue, and he simply brushed it off like no big deal. Later i tried to give hints like showing him my mood calendar where i was writing about my moods and stuff, showed when i started taking meds, still nothing. And it seems that he thinks that i lied to him, i'm trying to be ,,edgy" and ,,different". He started to act like he was disgusted by me. I don't know what to do, i was thinking about showing him my prescription, something that would make him belive me. He is my best friend and now i feel so alone, besides my parents and therapist i have no one to talk to. I'm getting worse. I don't really blame him. It's understandable that he may think that way. Did anyone else have this kind of situation?

Dr. Strange-ish
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:03 pm

Re: My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby Dr. Strange-ish » Tue Apr 30, 2019 5:13 pm

Many people are uncomfortable with the topic, sometimes because they are going through the same thing. You are given that blessing of being with a family that is helping you through this time and a therapist who is trained to get you back up and face the world. Maybe take a break from your friends and focus on family. You can't control what other people feel or how they react, so don't bother stressing and putting yourself down because of your best friend's reaction. Give him some time to mull things over and you worry about just you. Let him come to you when he's ready to face the reality.

There is a lesson I was given by a therapist I once had that helps me put so much into perspective. Imagine yourself in a large empty room with a red line down the middle. On one end is your friend's life, feelings, actions, reactions, etc. and the side you are on is all you. Right now you are crossing that line and trying to pull your friend to your side to make him see what you do and react the way you want. Instead, let go, step back, and cross over the line back to your side. Emotionally detach yourself from that thought to change his mind or make him understand. That's not up to you, that's his decision. If you can accept that you can turn away from his side of the room and see the peaceful paradise that was behind you the entire time.

I hope this helps and you can rest a little easier.

KimmyO
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:10 pm

Re: My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby KimmyO » Wed May 01, 2019 11:42 am

I"m so sorry for his hurt to you thru his reaction. Some live in avoidance and just laugh the tough things off. It's his problem, not yours. Don't let his problem become yours or let you get worse. Choose to continue getting better. Sometimes people say the worst thing, thinking they are helping. Men tend to be the worst at this since we train them up to avoid their feelings and they are out of touch or unable to sympathize. Also, he may have felt comfortable laughing since you said you are better now. There are those you can share with and those it just doesn't help to share. There are many times free counseling services thru churches if you feel you need someone else to share with. These support groups online are great, but sometimes we need physical presence too. What about joining a local support group? I did find taking magnesium and ginseng helped a lot to calm my mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts that tear us down and weaken our resolve. It has helped many to take these too. Hang in there, you are stronger than you know and are in control of your thoughts and emotions, when you want to. I distract myself from the negative thoughts by listening to an audio book that is light hearted mystery. That gets my mind off of things I can not control either from past or other people. Hope this helps you too! You got this! <3

Sadinatura
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby Sadinatura » Wed May 01, 2019 12:30 pm

I'm sorry this is happening, I personally felt this with my parents for 4 or so months. They didn't believe I really was depressed until I went to the doctors and decided to fill out the suicide and depression form honestly. They were concerned and since then I've had counseling, meds, even a group therapy, all of that. I'm not sure how you'll be able to prove to your friend that you really are depressed.
-Inatura.

derkderk
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 7:50 pm

Re: My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby derkderk » Mon May 13, 2019 1:06 am

I believe there may be multiple things that would cause your friend to respond the way he did/does.

I talked with a few people that was lectured about depression and suicide. They still had no understanding of how it feels or how anyone could feel like that. As if trying to understand fictional state of mind that no one has heard of.

Sometimes if a friend or loved one says they have a serious medical issue it is too much for them to handle. It would take too much mental effort to change their perspective. So then they procrastinate by not believing you, saying your just being funny, etc.

There may be other ideas that I can think of right now. Though there are people that have poor personalities and morals. I've unfortunately had to painfully throw away connections because I was worse off with them than without. I would suggest trying to find a way to change he hears what you say. Try things like using a louder voice/be stern and assertive, don't participate in the way you two socialize normally, etc.

I at times had to jump right into a 1 on 1 intervention by laying out all the things wrong with their attitude and and treatment of me. If they were truly a friend, they took on the job to learn and we stay friends. Others valued their comfort over my happiness, and I became healthier without them.

Your health and happiness is of utmost importance. Depression already tries to convince us we are worthless. Don't let people worsen a deadly condition just for their comfort. I had to get rid of two of my best friends over the years, they were both horrible people.

Spleefy
Posts: 241
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: My friend thinks i'm faking depression

Postby Spleefy » Tue Aug 20, 2019 12:22 pm

That is a bizarre reaction from a best friend. Without trying to sound harsh, but sadly some people are ignorant. It is worse when it is from our own family and friends.

He may be one of those people who believes depression doesn’t exist. Many people from older generations have this attitude, too. I wonder why he has responded this way. Did you ask him why he doesn't believe that you have depression? Does he know what depression is?

You shouldn’t have to justify yourself or prove to anyone that you have depression. But if you feel it is something you need to do then that’s fair enough.

Try not to make excuses for him. Even if your friend doesn’t understand what you are going through, he can at least try to understand, not make you feel worse. He could do some research on it and listen to you. There are many ways to offer love and support to a friend in need.

I can’t say that I have ever received that type of response from any of my friends. Even acquaintances have showed more concern.

The others offered some great suggestions. You just keep focusing on YOU! He knows your situation, now the ball is in his court. Hopefully he will try to understand what you are going through and offer you love and support.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18


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